The Random Talk About Nothing Thread

[Dashe]

May 26, 2015 20:22:14 GMT -5 Loken said:

We actually have a dedicated dream thread if you want to share all your trippy dreams with us. I had one recently that a damn aligator bit my forearm off. I was so freaking pissed! Losing appendages must be a heartbreaking ordeal. Of course you could get a sweet robot arm afterwards.

Traingham knows about that one. He's the last person who posted in it!

[Traingham]

My dog is trying to sabotage my life and my public image. I'm walking him through the neighborhood and this pretty girl says "Hey, awesome dog! What's his name?", to which I respond by telling her "Pelluche". She then asks me if he's friendly, and I've raised this dog since he was pup so I think I know my dog.

"He's super cool!" I say, getting down to stroke his side. (In reality I'm just kind of flexing) So she smiles at me while she comes over to pet him, and next thing I know— "BARKBARKBARKBARK!"

"ET TU, BRUTUS?"

[satoh]

No one ever believes you when you nervously reply "He's never done that before, honest."

however, when you irritably scowl and state "really, you're the nicest damn dog for ten years and you pick RIGHT NOW to start barking at people?" they tend to feel a bit awkward about beginning to judge you.

[Traingham]

I figured saying "He's never done that before!" would have made me look like the rear end of a mule, so I simply laughed it off and asked "You're not hiding a knife, are you?", which was probably for the best since the girl found it pretty funny. I then promptly walked off because while my dog was kind enough to stop barking live a raving lunatic, he did seem on edge and growled at her slightest movement.

Still weird though. My dog is the strong and silent type, as in he never barks unless something seriously bothers him. Other dogs will bark at him on the street and he'll just stare back. If he wants to go out for a walk he comes up to me and either plants his front feet on my knees to get my attention or licks my hand. Seeing him go off because a girl approached was just, well, weird.

I think I said that already...

[satoh]

Dogs can be difficult to comprehend if you're not carefully analyzing the situation at all times.
It could be something as simple as her posture being too aggressive, by a dog's standards.

[Dashe]

Dogs always bark at me for some reason. If I ever had a job interview hinge on whether my potential boss's dog liked me or not, I would be really, really screwed. The only animal that's actually shown me affection, ever, has probably been my mom's neighbor's cat. That cat was allegedly very hostile to most people, but all it ever wanted to do was follow me around and cuddle my leg.

[Traingham]

Not to turn this into the "Animal Corner", but felines are drawn to non aggressive people (or people that are passive around them in general), so maybe that's why the cat is drawn to you. On the other hand, if you happen to be a really touchy individual and the cat still likes you then disregard anything I just typed in this post.

Since we're on the subject of cats though, I once met a black cat in my childhood that crept onto the table I was sitting at, stared me in the eyes and promptly whacked me across the jaw with the startling quickness of Muhammad Ali (I still remember the way my face turned from the strike). Why do I bring this up? Don't really know. Maybe it's because I still love all cats in general despite being assaulted by one at an early age.

[Dashe]

I wouldn't call myself passive so much as generally apathetic to most animals. So if we were loitering in a Target or something pretending the place was a library and you showed me a picture of your dog, my response would probably be, "That image looks like a dog." instead of whatever the appropriate reaction to a picture of someone's pet is. Temperamentally, I'm pretty short-fused. Ask anyone on MMLS who's managed to get on my bad side.

Reptiles are neat, though. I like those better than mammals as far as pets are concerned. Turtles and lizards are pretty awesome. Snakes are alright, too.

[Loken]

On the subject of reptiles, I have another gator story. This actually happened after I had that gator dream. When I was recently on the coast of Alabama I visited one of the best aligator shelters in the country. It has a huge freaking gator out in its swamp named Captain Crunch and he has the most powerful recorded bite force, nearly 3000ib of pressure.

That's pretty neat but actually unrelated to what I was going to say.

Anyway, there was a lady in the park allowing guests to hold a two foot long aligator who had his mouth taped shut.
Man that guy was cute. I picked him up and held him like baby on my shoulder a patted hid back. Aligator skin is actually very soft and kind of leathery. For some reason or another I decided to lightly kiss this little guy on the cheek repeatedly. He did a low growl and slowly closed his eyes. The trainer was like 'wow he really likes that!' So I cuddled him a bit longer and reluctantly gave it back. So awesome. His name was chewy.

Which is funny actually because a while back I ate some fried gator. It actually did taste alot like chicken except chewier.

Anyway I kind of want a pet aligator but the obstacles are many.

[Dashe]

Ah, you're so lucky! The closest I've come to petting an alligator was checking out a pair of egregiously expensive alligator boots. You would not believe how high those run.

[Traingham]

I love alligators—the small ones anyway. If I could tame one and take him out on walks that would be pretty awesome, though he'd probably end up eating everyone else's pets.
I'd call him Richard Parker, so I'd have an excuse to cry that out loud and not come off as crazy to the people who—oh wait. I own an aligator in this scenario.

On that note, I'd like to own a velociraptor, preferably a female so that in the case she decides to turn on me I'll be able to say those two magical words before I die horribly.

[satoh]

*grumbles about being unable to bump iscribble thread again*
I'm starting an early board for some concept art, feel free to join provided I don't get kicked and the room closes or something.

[Buster Cannon]

Man, this paleo diet thing is really sticking. Had a nightmare last night...the worst thing that happened in the dream was me eating a slice of pizza. :/

[Traingham]

I am reminded of a time when I would strap on spiked bracelets, heavy chains, and wear all black just to increase my chances of getting together with a girl I was totally into. I then remember picking up a skateboard and spending day after day mastering all sorts of flat land tricks because it would make me more appealing in her eyes. These changes extended to doing away with hip hop, and getting into metal and rock because that's all she would have playing at her parties.

I'm hoping the next girl I meet is a professional writer.

[Dashe]

I'd just unapologetically do what makes you happy instead of trying to adjust yourself to what the other person's into. It takes a mature person to be able to genuinely appreciate someone with dissimilar tastes, but I'd imagine that works out better. Sometimes I look at my facebook feed and kind of get bored because a good 90% of the people on it are into exactly the same kind of things. Maybe I'm just weird for wanting a social circle with a wide variety of interests.

What you're probably after with writing seems more like a role model or a mentor than a crush. I like having role models. Even when they turn down my badass racing challenges. The fun part about role models are that it doesn't really even have to be requited on their part if they publicly put their work processes online for people to follow. I have no idea what having an actual crush is like, though, so I wouldn't be able to tell you whether having a crush on your role model is advantageous or not.