[CHAPTER 5 ONGOING] Rockman DASH Legends

[HF]

@ Truner: You are quite right though; perhaps I have been expecting too much feedback for insufficient content. However, the fact that I am curious to get some actual criticism from Steffie does not change.

Update: Latest page is up!


Edit:

@ Rockman Striker: Let me break this down for you.

Sometimes it's good to move to other places, but since you used this forum as a start, I suggest you to keep posting when a new page is up, and keep the first post holding the links to each page, or at least a link to the new site, this could be useful to people that sometimes forgets to check other sites, or are too lazy to check every day/week for something new.

The way I made the site is that there is no 'new link' but whatever is in the latest comic page, which is only one link from the main page.

About criticism, I remember I've sort of complained about your drawing style before, it's not bad, but it needs some work, I'm talking about some anathomic errors and that kind of stuff an artist should upgrade as the time progresses.

I would appreciate it if you could elaborate a bit more on what you mean.

I don't complain about the japanese terms, such as Digouter, but I'm happy that you know when to use US version terms, as Reaverbots (I like how Rebird sounds, but I'm not sure if it's the correct translation of the katakana "ri-baa-do" because some translate it "Leebird" can you clear up this mess, please?) Be sure that when I found something weird I'll let you know!

You are right so far; some translations do use Lee-Bird (though I am yet to find a concept detailing it). But I found it silly and went with a compromise between "Reaverbot" and "Lee-Bird".

[Deleted]

Please note that since I had posted the compliments already I had decided to focus more on the criticism in the list below.

1) Maybe it's due to myself being more used to the English translations of the Mega Man Legends games, but it does kind of bug me to see different terminology used than what used in the English games; like Digouter. A minor annoyance, though.

2) Your artwork had improved quite a lot over the course of the comic. But, there are times when I thought that you had drawn Volnutt's face a bit too sharp (like his cheek on pg. 42 panel 4) or sometimes his nose would look a bit too large.

3) There were also a couple of times when Volnutt's one eye would look a bit larger/ smaller than his other eye. The one example I could think of would be pg. 45 first panel. Although, it could either be the angle or an optical illusion that makes it look like that?

Other than that, I really love your work and believe you had done quite well so far.

[HF]

@ Steffie: Yeah, that's the stuff I want to see. Many thanks for the feedback.

Update: Finally, Roll makes her appearance! Because she has far more lines than Rock, I had to pay extra attention to the coloring of her.

(This one page took way too long)

Also, I would be taking a week or two off due to the current MMLS event (Secret Santa), and even more job interviews (more on this when something comes out of it).

[SketchMan3]

I'm sorry to keep nitpicking, but I have just a few more words about the "Engrish" words.

If you think about it, the "Japanese" terms like "Digouter" are simply poor adaptations of English words. It's like if I was making a game and decided to call the main enemy an "Odachinin" a long sword ninja. Plus, the differences between the associated meanings of the words "Digger" and "Digouter" are negligible enough to where it's just a toss-up as to which one sounds better. For me at least, the use of the word "digger" and it's association to archeology were actually part of what attracted me to the game. I was like "Whoa! archaeologists are awesome in this world! They're heroes. Sweet." I used to want to be an archaeologist, so using a familiar rather than alien terminology was a big plus for me in the original games.

And the same goes with a word like "Rebirdo" or "leebirdo" or whatever. Given that the "v" and "b" sounds can be mixed up in Japanese, I'd go so far as to suggest that this term is connected more to the archaic English word "reave" than ornithology.
www.thefreedictionary.com/Reavers

IMO, a better compromise would have been to simply drop the "bot" and leave it as Reaver. Didn't They change Vava's name to Vile because Vava sounds too close to "Boba" from "Star Wars" which he slightly resembles?

An entire forum (which is, admittedly, small) that I linked to this comic as being "a great adaptation" has already been turned off from it because of these, as they term "weabooish" tendencies. I mean no disrespect, but you've already stepped foot in "wapanese" territory.

But, at the end of the day, it's your artwork. It's not going to stop me from reading it (though I'll be wincing at intervals, lol). You just have to consider your target audience. If your target audience is people who prefer the awkward English translations of Japanese terms which were clumsily borrowed from English terms, and prefer to call Megaman "Rockman"; or NEW fans who are totally unfamiliar with the English translation of the game; or English speaking Japanese; then, by all means, let's go Digout the scary Rebirds.

Again, no disrespect is intended. As a discerning fan and reader, the weird words just made me feel alienated. I don't know if that's an issue with other Legends fans, or if I'm just in the minority.

[Deleted]

You're welcome, HF

As for the latest two pages: Love the fact that we finally get to see Roll again. I also love the worm's-eye-view that you used to show MegaMan looking up at Roll as the Flutter was above him.

After I reread the comic on your website I must say that I really like the fact that you had coloured all the pages. It really brought the comic to life. I also like your use of shading too.

I have one tiny little nitpick: On page 45 panel 1, Roll's hat ( the profile one/ the close-up version) doesn't really look as if it's resting properly on her head. I'm not certain if it's the shape of her bangs or not. But, all the other Rolls looked perfect.

Keep up the great work.

[HF]

Dec 14, 2011 12:31:56 GMT -5 SketchMan3 said:

I'm sorry to keep nitpicking, but I have just a few more words about the "Engrish" words.

Sure. Let's handle your 'nitpicks' one case at a time.

If you think about it, the "Japanese" terms like "Digouter" are simply poor adaptations of English words. It's like if I was making a game and decided to call the main enemy an "Odachinin" a long sword ninja. Plus, the differences between the associated meanings of the words "Digger" and "Digouter" are negligible enough to where it's just a toss-up as to which one sounds better. For me at least, the use of the word "digger" and it's association to archeology were actually part of what attracted me to the game. I was like "Whoa! archaeologists are awesome in this world! They're heroes. Sweet." I used to want to be an archaeologist, so using a familiar rather than alien terminology was a big plus for me in the original games.

Which is why (again) I am using a "give & take" approach when creating the world glossary. If you have seen the Character Page, I have not used names exclusive to Japanese terminology (in this case, "Kobun") but used the English version instead. The case of Engrish is understandably difficult, but I have no intention of changing what has been set.

I will however, take this into further consideration when naming the rest of the names and terminology for this work.

And the same goes with a word like "Rebirdo" or "leebirdo" or whatever. Given that the "v" and "b" sounds can be mixed up in Japanese, I'd go so far as to suggest that this term is connected more to the archaic English word "reave" than ornithology.
www.thefreedictionary.com/Reavers

IMO, a better compromise would have been to simply drop the "bot" and leave it as Reaver.

I would have, but I have a good reason for not compromising this.

An entire forum (which is, admittedly, small) that I linked to this comic as being "a great adaptation" has already been turned off from it because of these, as they term "weabooish" tendencies. I mean no disrespect, but you've already stepped foot in "wapanese" territory.

I do understand that the Legends fans will feel uneasy with new terminology going against what they have accepted as 'fact', but I do accept that it is inevitable.

More importantly, there are quite a few terms which need to be retained as-is due to story significance, and thus inevitable (in the case of changing how some names are spelt, I just thought they would look less punny and more 'of some Ethnic origin').

Story significance aside, it is really a case of 'cannot win them all' if you think about it; using Japanese terms would alienate the English fans, and using English terms would alienate the Japanese fans, and so on. Which is why I am making an attempt to strike a balance composed of sound arguments, which is incidently partly why I chose the title of this work to be "Rockman DASH Legends".

But when I get to it, a glossary of terms will indeed be made.

But, at the end of the day, it's your artwork. It's not going to stop me from reading it (though I'll be wincing at intervals, lol). You just have to consider your target audience. If your target audience is people who prefer the awkward English translations of Japanese terms which were clumsily borrowed from English terms, and prefer to call Megaman "Rockman"; or NEW fans who are totally unfamiliar with the English translation of the game; or English speaking Japanese;

Once again, compromise. I do not want to restrict myself to just one range of people to appeal to; I can make the end-product as universal as I could, starting with English as the foundation to make translations from (should it ever come to it).

then, by all means, let's go Digout the scary Rebirds.

Hah. Well, the way I see it: "Digout" is more of an activity used in the same way as (for example) "picnic". So grammatically it would come out as "Let's go on a Digout" and "I'm a Digouter" ("Picnicker" appears to be a legitimate word, so there are no problems).

Interestingly, grammatical use of terminology would be a good bit of detail for me to add when making the glossary.

Again, no disrespect is intended. As a discerning fan and reader, the weird words just made me feel alienated. I don't know if that's an issue with other Legends fans, or if I'm just in the minority.

No problem. I am just glad that explosions are the same in every language (haha), even if I am using Japanese sound effects to match the format.

In fact, thanks for your thorough explanations and free advertising.

[SketchMan3]

Thanks for being so understanding, hehe.

Japanese terms would alienate the English fans, and using English terms would alienate the Japanese fans

I think doing the comic in English in the first place is alienating enough to justify puuuuure unapologetic aaalienaaaaaation for the sake of those who speak English as a first language ;D. But I get it. It's like a shout-out to the Japanese fans. An acknowledgement of the source material.

Once again, compromise. I do not want to restrict myself to just one range of people to appeal to; I can make the end-product as universal as I could, starting with English as the foundation to make translations from (should it ever come to it).

Yeah, that's what I thought. It makes a bit more sense when you put it like that.

Hah.

Hehe, glad it got at least one chuckle out of you. . (I knew I was using the word incorrectly). ;D

Reaverds is a good compromise. When I saw you mention "Rebirds" earlier in this thread, I got a bit scared.

In fact, thanks for your thorough explanations and free advertising.

Yeah man. When I see something I think is awesome, I have to share it.

Maybe if it gets popular enough, it'll be translated into full Japanese. You never know.



Moving on. It's cool to see how your art style has evolved over the course of just the first chapter(?). Can't wait to see how you deal with special weapons and huge boss battles.

[Qwertman]

I REALLY like the website. Any chance we can get an RSS feed?

[HF]

@ sketchman3: I don't think it was me who mentioned "Rebirds" though. Well anyway...

@ Qwertyman: I would have to read into making one first, partly because I don't use them myself. But I'll take this into consideration.


Update: Happy (belated) new year, everyone. After a long delay and a month and a bit away from when I first started this a year ago, this page concludes the "Tutorial Arc" of the story. I have yet to properly plan out the next pages for development so I may have to take a break from regular updates again.

But unless this year becomes surprisingly busy for me, I don't intend to drop this (for various reasons, it would certainly feel like a waste on my end).

[HF]

@ Truner: Oh, the chapter isn't over, though I need to do a bit more planning work before I can continue. I will be posting some of the previews both here and the main site (soon), hopefully restarting the story in a few more weeks.


Update - News
I decided to go on by working on the characters' basic designs; first up is Roll's grandfather, redubbed as "Barell Casquet" (pronounced with a stronger "ell" than "barrel") for this adaptation.



This Barell's design has a few minor changes, namely the eyewear and the vest having a less 'cartoonish' feel of having only one button. Though what I really intend to give some extra emphasis on is the less-explained aspects of the eyewear. To expand on this, I decided to make the 'goggles' removable to expose the eyes*.

And by extension, Teisel will receive the same treatment.

[Mikéy]

Whoa. Barell has some pretty intense eyes... I LOVE it!

Now that I think about it, it'd be pretty nice if you happen to have Juno open his eyes more often. (Seriously, he only does it ONCE in the game, and he never opens them again after that!) But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Barell's really making me anxious to see the depictions of the entire Bonne family, not just Teisel.

(Including the servbots, of course.)

Even though you're still working on the comic, it's way awesome to see previews of the characters as opposed to nothing at all, so keep 'em coming!

[SketchMan3]

Those were goggles? I thought they were implants or something.

[HF]

@ Mikey: I got lots to think about on the Bonnes, as such a radical change will feel a bit jarring, even to myself. In the case of Servbots, I got a few ideas...


@ sketchman3: There are a few ways to expand on the game's in-universe concept of optical implants/eyewear (I would like to emphasize on my ideas a bit more, but later).

While simply 'outright implants' is not impossible (as let's face it, the technology levels are all over the place even in the source material), I want to think about it on a more practical level.

[SketchMan3]

That's cool. It'll be interesting to see how he keeps the "goggles" on to begin with,

[HF]

Update: Kept all of you waiting; the latest page is up on the site.

I am aware that the web host is acting up around the time I am posting this, so if you're getting a 500 error or otherwise, please try again later.