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Post by HF on May 4, 2015 10:21:57 GMT -5
The profile looks great to me! I'd change "childish part which comes with her energetic personality" to "childish trait that comes with her energetic personality" instead, "and acts on impulse much to her crew's chargin in keeping up with her constantly-changing pace" appears as if it needs to be reworded a little, since I don't understand the middle of it - perhaps Dashe has a suggestion for it. I'm personally drawing a blank. Thanks Mikéy! I managed to reword things a little just now, with special thanks to Aiyumi as well for pointing out more typos. I also noticed something: I found that I wasn't able to highlight text on a profile page to copypasta it. Is that a feature? Not that I know of... I just tried it, and copy-paste works fine for me. Mind if you tell me what browser you're using? Finished reading chapter 2! My mother likes your drawing of Tron, and the "special effects" when people are running. I think this chapter was a bit short, with much less text than the previous ones. It must be because it focuses more on fast-paced action and the characters can't waste much time talking XD. Like I'd heard someone say in an action scene from some anime, "Move your body rather than your mouth!" And I've found some typos on Reporter Sunshine's profile This is all I can point out, because I'm not one of the experts. XD Thanks for going through the latest (finished) chapter, and for going through Reporter's profile as well! Without pointing anything out, I have been playing things a little more subtly in Chapter 2 and I wanted to keep the action going so I didn't want to dwell on plot heavy stuff too long (I would like to think that there's a better time to expand on them later on). I think I mentioned before (and in their collective profile), but one thing I wanted to establish is that the cops function more like a Military Police so they're involved in both serving public trust and defending the city from invading forces (and a recruitment program). As such, they are actually quite capable unlike their video game counterparts (you don't even get to fight alongside them in the main story!). The police's supply shortages I mentioned aside, the Bonnes that are just that powerful in both numbers and weapon technology thanks to the family's teenage mad scientist ace pilot. Next update is going to be a double, because it's showing-off time for the counterattack.
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Post by Mikéy on May 5, 2015 12:27:32 GMT -5
I was using Chrome. I'll play with it some more when I get home, maybe try other browsers and such.
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Aiyumi
Gorubeshu
Brazilian Kobun
Posts: 222
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Post by Aiyumi on May 5, 2015 20:07:42 GMT -5
I managed to reword things a little just now, with special thanks to Aiyumi as well for pointing out more typos. You're welcome! I can't give feedback on the visuals like everyone else is doing, so I'm glad to have been able to help in some way. I can't help much with grammar (better leave that up to more qualified people), but at least my screen reader is a good typo catcher! Oh, and I forgot to say that I like how the reporter even got her new nickname transcribed into Japanese!
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Post by Mikéy on May 5, 2015 23:36:10 GMT -5
Wow. Yeah. I don't think I can do it on this machine at all; are you running Windows 8.1, HF?
I just tried using Internet Explorer (since I have no other browsers downloaded right now, derp) and was still unable to highlight any text to copy it.
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Post by HF on May 6, 2015 8:21:23 GMT -5
You're welcome! I can't give feedback on the visuals like everyone else is doing, so I'm glad to have been able to help in some way. I can't help much with grammar (better leave that up to more qualified people), but at least my screen reader is a good typo catcher! It has certainly helped. Thanks again! Funny fact is that her name reminds me of "Sunshine City", a shopping mall near Ikebukuro in Tokyo. Near that area is a anime/manga media street known as "Otome Road", infamous for catering to the Fujoshi demographic (i.e. male fanservice, BL, and then some). Which brings the question: Does the BL genre exist in the Halcyon Days era? And should it? Wow. Yeah. I don't think I can do it on this machine at all; are you running Windows 8.1, HF? I just tried using Internet Explorer (since I have no other browsers downloaded right now, derp) and was still unable to highlight any text to copy it. I run Windows 8.1 on one of my machines at home, but it's not an OS problem. It turns out to be some code I left on which prevents highlighting (this isn't something I intended; I must have forgot to remove it after fiddling with some settings). Anyway, it should be fixed now. Please give it a try!
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Post by Mikéy on May 6, 2015 13:18:28 GMT -5
Wow. Yeah. I don't think I can do it on this machine at all; are you running Windows 8.1, HF? I just tried using Internet Explorer (since I have no other browsers downloaded right now, derp) and was still unable to highlight any text to copy it. I run Windows 8.1 on one of my machines at home, but it's not an OS problem. It turns out to be some code I left on which prevents highlighting (this isn't something I intended; I must have forgot to remove it after fiddling with some settings). Anyway, it should be fixed now. Please give it a try! Yeah, that's what it was. It probably didn't affect you because you were the sitemaster. xD That bit of code may have its uses though.
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Post by HF on May 12, 2015 8:00:22 GMT -5
Yeah, that's what it was. It probably didn't affect you because you were the sitemaster. xD That bit of code may have its uses though. Apparently the line of code did nothing in Firefox, which was probably why I didn't pay much attention to it (my fault ). Update: New page, and it's a double!Let the counterattack begin!
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Post by MegaTuga on May 12, 2015 9:44:46 GMT -5
That cameraman is incredibly stylish. Also, chun-li keychain.
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Post by HF on May 14, 2015 9:00:14 GMT -5
That cameraman is incredibly stylish. He's covered air pirate skirmishes you know! Yeah, I just wanted to give Reporter Sunshine a childish gimmick. My idea is that she will have a different one for each new appearance, so who knows what will come next time?
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Post by HF on May 17, 2015 10:03:33 GMT -5
In between updates, and I wanted to share this step-by-step process used for each page. Got any questions, comments, criticism, etc.? Please feel free to let me know! Thanks!
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Post by Dashe on May 17, 2015 11:25:30 GMT -5
This is pretty fantastic. Dumb question, but Step 02 is a direct scan of Step 01, right? You seem to have made some corrections to Rock's arm in the lower left between the first and second steps. If you're not scanning them, it'd be more efficient to nail down the anatomy in the pencil step. If it's neat enough you might be able to just omit the digital draft right away and go straight from the pencils to digital inking. Maybe it's just because I'm more confident when it comes to meatspace drawing, but I really think that would expedite things.
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Post by Loken on May 17, 2015 11:40:51 GMT -5
That quick Rock is pretty cool. It would be great for comedic bonus pages or something.
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Post by Mikéy on May 17, 2015 12:44:20 GMT -5
For some reason I thought it happened one panel at a time. It's refreshing to see it all gets assembled at the same time.
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Post by HF on May 21, 2015 10:21:39 GMT -5
This is pretty fantastic. Dumb question, but Step 02 is a direct scan of Step 01, right? You seem to have made some corrections to Rock's arm in the lower left between the first and second steps. If you're not scanning them, it'd be more efficient to nail down the anatomy in the pencil step. If it's neat enough you might be able to just omit the digital draft right away and go straight from the pencils to digital inking. Maybe it's just because I'm more confident when it comes to meatspace drawing, but I really think that would expedite things. You're quite right actually. What I experience often though: Since I do a lot of the initial draftwork during lunch breaks at work or in an obscure location, I don't always have my reference materials with me (or even access to the Internet). Because of that, I draw an approximate draft of the machines and structures which are involved and fill in the details during the digital drafting stage (especially for close-ups). Of course, some drafts end up good enough to use directly after a bit of cleaning up (on-page dirt or excess lines etc.), so it's definitely something I would like to aim for more often in the future. And at other times, drafts come out so poorly that I redo sections and I might as well redraw it like below: Thankfully, this has not happened in a long time! That quick Rock is pretty cool. It would be great for comedic bonus pages or something. In hindsight, maybe I should have just used this style for doing 4-panel comics instead of the semi-detailed stuff I made for the end of chapter 2. For some reason I thought it happened one panel at a time. It's refreshing to see it all gets assembled at the same time. I first thought of doing it like that before I started, but I didn't like how static it felt when the comics' panels had set sizes and orientations. If I did each part individually and threw them together, there is a high chance that the panel contents will obstruct or 'blend' into each other if the colors or lines are too similar when put together. Thinking long-term, it would also come out a little monotonous when reading several pages in one go if the panel structures for each page end up looking similar several pages in a row (unless it's by design for a buildup, drama, etc.). If anything, I would like to make RMDL more dynamic.
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Post by HF on May 26, 2015 7:26:53 GMT -5
Update: New page's up! The action continues in the Battle for City Hall!
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