SketchMan3
Poh
That's "SketchMan3". Capital S, capital M and the number 3. It's official (nicknames are ok, though)
Posts: 464
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Post by SketchMan3 on Apr 30, 2013 12:18:47 GMT -5
Kyle: Really? She's supposed to be in her late 20s or 30s in the game I believe. Hm, really? I thought she was supposed to just be a really anime-attractive 45-50. There's still an age gap there, but it's not quite as bad. I've always felt there was some chemistry between Amelia and Barrel in-game. At the very least Barrel seemed pleased to send Megaman off so he and Amelia could do some "catching up" alone. Dat chuckle... In any case, at late 20-30's she is still an adult, after all. I was expecting her design to be a little more conventionally beautiful/more similar to the original, but the rugged look is interesting too, and goes with the universe you are setting up, as far as I can tell. I like the straight-on face shot the best. Looks like her measurements have been flipped around... >_> <_< It's kind of interesting that she went from almost no nose to a very distinguished schnoz. I like her knowing expression. Makes her look very experienced in life while keeping a laid-back nature about her (which, actually, the original Amelia's personality doesn't really strike me as such, now that I think about it). I hate to always be "that guy", but the hair... it just... it looks even more weird than the original, which wouldn't necessarily be bad if it had that "anime hair" appeal. But it doesn't, really. What exactly is that supposed to be? I'm having a hard time figuring it out. I think it's the "bump" of hair above her right eye. I think it's too big or something, and throws off the balance. It looks good from the front, though. I'd have probably gone for a more Victorian look, myself. Her hair kind of looks a little bit messy for a mayor. But these are stressful times, though... Edit: Hope that didn't come off as rude. These are honest questions. Just trying to figure it out...
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Post by Dashe on Apr 30, 2013 18:15:32 GMT -5
You've got grammar mistakes here: - "It's airship part you're looking for, was it?" isn't actually a sentence. "It's airship parts you wanted, right?" should be what you're actually going for. - "up to recently" in the same panel should be "up until recently." If Mega Man's about to get the Splash Mine, this means you're almost to the part in the game where Tron shows up!
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Post by HF on May 1, 2013 21:19:36 GMT -5
SketchMan3: Noted. Dashe: Re-worded things a bit, hopefully it makes more sense now. Thanks again!
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Post by Loken on May 2, 2013 0:53:19 GMT -5
I've really enjoyed these last 2 pages! You've done a great job with the characterization of the junkman (a minor character) so I'm vey excited to see what you can do with everyone else! Willy will be interesting I'm sure, the mayor (who looks great, but as a MGS fan I love mullets) seems to have alot of personality just from the concept art, and I can't wait for the Bonnes! Oh and Rock's not going to say his name is hippopotamus is he?
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SketchMan3
Poh
That's "SketchMan3". Capital S, capital M and the number 3. It's official (nicknames are ok, though)
Posts: 464
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Post by SketchMan3 on May 2, 2013 1:27:27 GMT -5
I feel like I should add a disclaimer that any opinions of mine are solely my opinions given in tough-love and are likely to go against the grain, but that would be unnecessary. Feel free to give me a "shove off" if you like and you won't hear from me again, >_> Oh and Rock's not going to say his name is hippopotamus is he? I'm holding my breath in suspense myself, XD. I can't wait until the next page. Unfortunately I'm going to have to, because I've just been reminded why I don't like reading comic books one page a week. Strips are okay, but not books. I don't know why... see ya next month, RmDL.
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Post by HF on May 14, 2013 8:32:03 GMT -5
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Post by Kyle on May 14, 2013 15:45:22 GMT -5
Hmm. Looks great, HF, but I have some minor 'complaints'. Maybe I'm overstepping my bounds and straight into the minefield that is Dashe's territory, but that little exchange between Roll and the Junk Store Owner in the 4th panel just sounds a little... off. - "W-well, just from the looks of your list and airship type..." might sound better as; "W-well, just by looking at your list and airship type..." - Roll's dialogue might also sound better along the lines of; "So anyway, please tell us how much help you can provide with getting the parts needed for our airship." Again, these are just minor criticisms. I'll leave the final decision up to you.
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Post by MegaTuga on May 15, 2013 8:27:17 GMT -5
Poor Rock got a smack in the head by Roll.. looks like not even in this story he is free or her grasp... XD
Hmmm, in the box says "Landbird"... that name is familiar... maybe it appeared in the boxes within the game or somewhere else, but I just can't remember
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Post by HF on May 15, 2013 20:07:40 GMT -5
Kyle: Well I thought it would be a choice of words for the Junk Man (a narrative thing perhaps). But I do wonder what Dashe would have to say about this anyway. MegaTuga: Nope, not at all. Fun idea: I can't help but think that when they were kids, some sort of bet or challenge to determine who would be the Main Diver and Operator was held between Rock and Roll. In this case, Rock has clearly lost and got the short end of things.
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SketchMan3
Poh
That's "SketchMan3". Capital S, capital M and the number 3. It's official (nicknames are ok, though)
Posts: 464
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Post by SketchMan3 on May 15, 2013 21:28:41 GMT -5
Huh, and here I thought Roll was just a li'l sweetie pie. It's a good thing Mega Man wasn't low on health or he'd be dead (I know from personal experience). Ouch.
I think the dialog is fine.
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Post by Kyle on May 16, 2013 2:36:39 GMT -5
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Post by HF on May 28, 2013 7:19:44 GMT -5
SketchMan3 & @kyle: "Roll! What have you done? You can't do this! You'll create a-" etc... Update: Usual new page, and I've finally gotten around to adding some new site content.
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Post by Dashe on May 28, 2013 12:14:01 GMT -5
Either your version or Kyle's version would work here. His wording's more colloquial and has slightly more punch to it, but it really depends on how you want the Junkman to sound. Dang, I knew I forgot to do something! XD
This page looks alright. I'm kind of bummed he didn't run into Tron yet. In the game I'd always make it a point to harass her in the streets before going to City Hall, but since he has a cop with him I can see where she'd want to avoid him.
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Post by MegaTuga on May 28, 2013 19:42:26 GMT -5
For some reason I though of Prof.Barell in his younger days yelling on top of a cliff: "MY NAME IS BARELL... THE INVINCIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Also for some reason the police officer's uniform looks incredibly good. I don't know if it is my bad memory or the quality of the graphics of the game but I can say that it looks better than the original.
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Post by HF on Jun 1, 2013 7:34:55 GMT -5
Dashe: I didn't know what I should put in the middle panel in the first draft, so it might have seemed out of place. On the other hand, Roll being sidetracked with the idea of a new vehicle seemed like something she would do, so I went with that so I can move on. And if it helps, I have my own plans for their first encounter. MegaTuga: Glad you like it! The officer's uniforms in RMDL are based mostly on their original appearance, though I tweaked some parts of their uniform and gear to give them a few more nice-looking corners so they'll look a bit more dignified than their "cannon fodder" look from the games.
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