"Teisel's New Look" Complete

[Goopygoo, Lord of the Whilst]

I must say, this was a very fun read. I really didn't notice any problems, although I wouldn't put it past Dashe to find a grammar error or two. I would like to see how Glyde reacts though.

[Dashe]

Dash? Don't you mean, "Dashe?" Sheesh, Goopy, we do enough RPing you'd think you'd remember how to spell my name...unless...that is...

*A sudden bolt of shock fills my entire being* I'VE SWITCHED BODIES WITH DASH MYOKU?!?! Hmmmm...wonder what'll happen if I decide to cut the fro...

Never mind the grammatical mistakes. Just because it's a Teisel fic, it automatically rules. My Teisel fandom's at an all-time high this week. Oh, and you spelled "pectoral" wrong.

[Frankenpetey]

Teisel does need more love; thanks for stepping up to the plate. >:3 This is a wicked cute idea, though the one-shot makes me a little sad (would have been interesting to see Glyde's half of it...)

There are a few grammar...hiccups. Namely, some tense-changing and verb conjugation weirdness. I think it must happen when you revise, because in your regular posts your grammar is perfect. When you're done writing and revising your next piece, try letting it sit for a few hours, then come back and read it aloud to yourself. That should take care of the grammar and mechanics.

It seems even squeeing over the cuteness of this can't silence my inner grammarian...ooh er.

[ravenf6]

This is just freak-out hilarious. ;D ;D I loved how you incorporated the 1st-person perspectives leading to the eventual discoveries that Tiesel and Glyde have swapped with each other. This is an interesting idea for a story, and I'd like to see more of it.

[Goopygoo, Lord of the Whilst]

I personally enjoyed the first part better, though that's probably just because Teisel has a much more awesome personality. I await the awesome next chapters!

P.S. You used the word masculine waaaaaaaaay too much, sorry.

[Dashe]

This coming from the guy who uses the word "whilst" way too much in his own RP posts ...

Still, you've captured Glyde's essence perfectly. He almost reminds me of Galinda in Wicked at the beginning of "What is This Feeling," when she starts her letter off with "Dearest Darlingest Momsy and Popsicle..." (And if you haven't seen Wicked yet, DO IT NOW, or at least go on YouTube and look up the songs.)

Also, double-posting is against the rules here, but I've fixed it since it's only a first offense. Use the modify button next time, all right?

[Goopygoo, Lord of the Whilst]

Hey, my whilsts are sexy, and you know it! Your just intimidated by them XD

Anyways, now that she's mentioned it, I do see a resemblance to Wicked. That was a great movie. Great music, too.

EDIT: I now know what I'm Lord of! Thanks, Dashe!

[Musashi]

Very entertaining! I hope to see more of this.

[Dashe]

Good stuff as always, though I'd have probably found some kind of way to compare Glyde's parents to birds. And Teisel seems a bit subdued, in contrast to what I'd expect--I imagined he'd be thinking all sorts of dynamicly hilarious thoughts, but I'm guessing you've got your reasons behind it.

Have you tried Petey's idea of letting a chapter sit for a bit (I'd give it a day or so) and then re-reading it later and fixing all the mistakes?

Oh, and Goopy...like I've said, everything in moderation. That includes junk food, video games, and *gasp* even the word whilst.

[Dashe]

I wouldn't call it a reaction so much as a lack thereof, but do continue. I really like your Glyde chapters a lot, and as a Teisel fangirl, that's saying something.

[Goopygoo, Lord of the Whilst]

I liked this chapter a lot. For a while, though, I forgot it was Tiesel. I agree with what Dashe said. Even before he met Glyde's mom, he didn't seem to be being very Tiesel-y. Great work, though, and I eagerly await the next chapter!

P.S. Dashe, you lier! How dare you spread the rumor that whilst should not be used all the time! You should be flogged whilst being forced to play Battle Network...uh...what number are we at now? Twelve? Ya, that sounds about right...

[Dashe]

I think that chapter contained some of the funniest similes I've ever read. Ever. Not a bad thing, mind you.

[Rage]

*drools* I haven't been so much into a legends fan fic in a long time because usually people tend to mess it up. *shakes a fist at the man* What was the last great one I read. I think it was aarond's fic. I'm getting off subject again.

*drools again* I'm just like Dashe on this one expect the fan girl part. I'm pretty sure I'm not a female.

Continue on!

[Dashe]

The exchange between Teisel and Glyde's parents about Denise was pretty funny. And I think I can imagine why he changed his name....

*flashback to an elementary school classroom filled with kids. A young woman, obviously a substitute teacher, stands smiling at the front holding a clipboard.*

"Okay, time to take attendance, everyone! When I call your name, please raise your hand and say 'here!'" She clears her throat. "Joe Aaronson?"

"Here."

"Larry Andrews?"

"Here."

"Yuka-whatsa-somethingy...yadda...can you pronounce your name for me, please?" The teacher, whose face is now devoid of any inkling of color, stutters.

"It's Yukihiko Ayanokoji Jr." A grade school version of Glyde sighs. Obviously this isn't the first time it's happened...

[Blues]

It's great! Have you submitted it to fab yet?