"The Job Interview" complete

[Blues]

Someone's going to like this...

*coughaimmancough*

Sorry, I have a horrible cough. Anyway, on to the real comments...

That was kinda cool. You don't see many fanfics about Loath these days. There were just a few spelling errors and one case of missing punctuation. Other than that, it's fine!

[Dashe]

Pretty spiffy fic! Can't wait to read the rest of it!

[Frankenpetey]

Glyde being timid is an unusual twist in and of itself...


At least, I'm assuming that's who it is. It could be Denise for all I know (now that's a twist, for sure)...

Mechanically, a little proofreading would go a long way, since there're a few places where the punctuation or word usage seems a little wonky. But then I'm sort of neurotic about grammar...

[Dashe]

Okay, your first paragraph in the second part switches tenses when you start describing Glyde:

The person stood below the crime boss' eye level. The person's
hairdo was quite flamboyant (Past tense) and the long fringe hung over the one eye (past tense). This person's revealing eye is a beautiful shade (Present tense) of ruby. This person had long
eyelashes as well. The face living-proof that it's possible to look both
extremely handsome and beautiful at the same time. The shoulders aren't as broad
as most men, but not as narrow as most women. The person had a svelte figure as
well. Not one trace of masculinity in this person's figure at all, yet no hint
of a busty chest either.

You get the idea, right? Normally descriptions are kept in the past tense with the actions. Some of your diction seems a little off as well, but I'm not particularly in the mood to get overly technical. You also seem to consistently use the same epithets (i.e. "The loan shark" for Loathe, "the boy" for Glyde), though I do understand how thinking of those can be absurdly difficult at times.

Man, grammatical nitpicking sure brings back fond memories! Still, your plotline remains solid, and I'd really like to see how your writing improves during your stay here. Keep it up!