Post by Dashe on Sept 8, 2014 17:57:06 GMT -5
It's all good. I'm not sure what I was doing in 2012 that made me accidentally not notice this story. I mean, it's the Bright Bats! The Bright Bats were too cool to show up in their own game! 
The Rebel Riders all seem so polite in this fic, you've got to wonder why Gonzo hates them so much.
Since I've been playing catch-up, I didn't jot down any grammar fixes, but you'll definitely want to look over 'em at least once before posting because there are a few sentences with words missing in 'em and several places where you switched tense in the middle of a paragraph from either past to present or past to pluperfect. If you want, I can go back in and notate where.
Your take on the Bright Bats and Klickelan Island is probably pretty close to what the Prototype would've given us. I can tell you probably spent a lot of time researching it. Barrett doesn't realize Aero has a crush on him, does he? According to your current chapter-naming conventions and the list of L3P missions, you're halfway done! Nice!
The Rebel Riders all seem so polite in this fic, you've got to wonder why Gonzo hates them so much. Since I've been playing catch-up, I didn't jot down any grammar fixes, but you'll definitely want to look over 'em at least once before posting because there are a few sentences with words missing in 'em and several places where you switched tense in the middle of a paragraph from either past to present or past to pluperfect. If you want, I can go back in and notate where.
Your take on the Bright Bats and Klickelan Island is probably pretty close to what the Prototype would've given us. I can tell you probably spent a lot of time researching it. Barrett doesn't realize Aero has a crush on him, does he? According to your current chapter-naming conventions and the list of L3P missions, you're halfway done! Nice!