Post by Frankenpetey on Jan 7, 2009 14:41:30 GMT -5
Aww, that's adorable. <3 I can totally see something like that happening, too. Poor Tron. XD I'm not sure which was funnier-- the misunderstanding or the hint that Teisel bakes.
My only nitpick is you have a few places where you mix past and present tense, like: "...Glyde is already..." "...sister isn't so lucky..." Since it looks like you chose past tense for the story, I'd go through and change the present tense sentences to match. There aren't too many places where it happens; they just made me stumble for a second.
My only nitpick is you have a few places where you mix past and present tense, like: "...Glyde is already..." "...sister isn't so lucky..." Since it looks like you chose past tense for the story, I'd go through and change the present tense sentences to match. There aren't too many places where it happens; they just made me stumble for a second.
