Soothing Words (one shot)

[Frankenpetey]

I don't know how well I actually managed this, but here goes nothing. I'm actually kind of proud of how brief I kept it, as my writing tends to get overgrown and rambly.



'Soothing Words'



"It's okay, Bon, see? I'm right here. I'm fine."

Glyde leaned up against the cell door, taking in the surreal sight of a grown man attempting to comfort an eight-foot-tall, half-ton robot as though it were a child. The robot was making some unintelligible noise, the man was stroking the armor plating of the thing's forearm.

"Shh, I know. I know, kiddo. Just try to go back to sleep, okay? I won't let anything happen to you; you don't have to be scared."

Stifling a noise of disgust, Glyde watched the whole sorry display. There was something very unbalanced inside Teisel Bonne, that much was certain. The robot burbled a little more, softer.

"No, I won't let anything happen to me, either. I'm not going anywhere, Bon. I promise."

Several minutes passed. Teisel watched Bon, Glyde watched Teisel, and eventually the robot fell asleep. Or went into standby, rather. Teisel's delusions were becoming contagious. Tapping the bars with one armor gloved finger, Glyde announced his presence. Teisel jumped at the noise, but his look of surprise quickly dulled into his usual sullen glare. The two men studied each other for a moment, Glyde thoughtful and Teisel stubbornly silent.

"Do you know," Glyde said, keeping his voice light. "Someday something's going to go terribly wrong with that thing," he gestured at Bon, "and you won't be able to repair it. And do you want to know something else?" he asked, leaning in as close as he could, smiling like a knife's edge. "You're going to be so relieved."

Teisel didn't reply, didn't even move from his crouch on the floor. With a happy sigh, Glyde pushed himself away from the door, turning smartly on his heel to return to his quarters. "Sleep well, Teisel darling."

Glyde paused in the hall, waiting for the inevitable angry retort. There was none.

[in·clover]

I like.

Probably because I'm more into shorter fics, though. They're a lot easier to digest and frankly, the longer ones are only long for length's sake half the time and are cluttered with filler. This is short and sweet. I always wondered what was going on with Teisel and Bon while they were held captive aside from manual labor and this is an excellent scene to imagine.

The only thing that really gets to me is Bon's ambiguous identity. There's nothin' sayin' he's robot or human (in a robot) so that seemed kinda odd to see that stated so matter-of-factly. Ah well. No complaints. It's an excellent fic.


If you go on to make more fics, I'd recommend following the same trend of making them brief and to the point. As I said before it really works to your (or any fanfiction writer's) benefit.



That said, MAKE MOAR.

[Deleted]

This is quite an awesome fic.

I really love how Teisel and Glyde bickered; and how Glyde was coldless when he said that one day Bon won't be able to work anymore, and nothing would repair him. He really doesn't understand the whole concept that the Bonnes saw Bon has a little brother, hm? The ending was also a bit sad too.

Once again, great job.

[Dashe]

Honestly, I like them short too. Short and Teiselish. It takes a lot more skill to say something meaningful in only a handful of short paragraphs than it does to say something meaningful in ten pages.

[Frankenpetey]

I'm so timely, look at me go...

InCLOVER: Thanks. A well-written long fic is a thing of beauty, but I can't manage it at this point. As to Bon, if there were a kid in there I don't think Teisel would tell Glyde so. I do prefer to think of Bon as a robot, but it was just a character seeing him as one in this case.

Steffie: Thank you, and yes, I don't think Glyde would really be able to understand how the Bonnes think, especially regarding Bon and the servbots. (Also, word on the Glyde/Teisel thing. I was starting to think I was the only one who likes this pairing. Now I don't feel like such a freak.)

Dashe: Short and Teiselish. Now I know how to describe my style, such as it is. XD
I have read longer fics that're fabulous, but man, I just can't write it. I get all distracted...