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Post by MegaTuga on Jun 27, 2017 6:38:01 GMT -5
Geez. fine. she can have her.
Also floating pokémon - > decaying bridge. Unless floating has a height limit, who knows.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 27, 2017 19:21:31 GMT -5
Well, with Super Ultra Chicken flying off to his home planet, it seems the cosmic fart cloud is preoccupied by something. Super Ultra Chicken must have dropped his wallet with that sick rescue. We should return it to him. Man, the currency in this place is weird. Don't you carry $20 bills? It must be a pain in the ass to carry around glitter covered rocks. The glitter must get everywhere. We immediately show our gratitude with our one-track mind overriding our common sense. I don't want it. What if Koko Puffs there comes back for it later? Do I take it to the lost and found? Where's the police station? GET IN THE FUCKING BAG, NEBBY.Back in Iki Town, we meet up with Kukui, who explains about little miss wussy-pants there. Yeah, so where's this kahuna guy? I want my starter already.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 27, 2017 19:26:50 GMT -5
Hala sounds swole. Oh, he's a sumo wrestler. Fitting. I dig sumo. But I didn't figure not-Hawaii to be big on sumo... Kahuna must translate to "Biggest ass-kicker around". How do I get that position? "He punched a shark. He usually leaves the Sharpedo alone. What did you do, girl?" Yeah, we're big heroes. Kind of a big deal. I'm sure you understand, right, Kahuna? "Or maybe he's bored. Boredom does set in round here these days." Oh yeah, fuck yes, Starter time!
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 27, 2017 20:16:24 GMT -5
starterstarterstarterstarter I'm chomping at the bit here, please don't be stupid-- --D'aww, they're adorable! We have a barn owl... ...a tabby cat... ...and a circus reject. All three of Alola's starters evolve to their second stage at Lv. 17. Rowlet is a Grass/Flying Type that evolves into Dartrix, a primadonna dandy-boy. At Lv. 34, it evolves into Decidueye, a no-nonsense archer based on Hawaiian myths of owls being tied to the afterlife; appropriately, it changes typing as Decidueye, becoming Grass/Ghost. Litten, the Fire starter, is a tabby cat that evolves into Torracat, a troublemaker whose flaming bell is an organ that allows them to breathe fire. At Lv. 34, it becomes Incineroar, the best starter by far and large since Generation III's Swampert and Generation VI's Chesnaught. Incineroar is a heel wrestler catman based on famed Japanese professional wrestler Tiger Mask, who had a famed anime series made after him. Incineroar is most based on Tiger the Dark, a heel incarnation of Tiger Mask from the recent anime Tiger Mask W. Fittingly, when it evolves into Incineroar, it becomes Fire/Dark, not Fire/Fighting. Popplio, the circus reject, is a sea lion with a clown nose who blows snot bubbles and is generally the most doofy, adorable Water starter since Mudkip. It evolves into the pop star Brionne at Lv. 17, and then at Lv. 34 becomes the shimmering opera singer mermaid Primarina. Primarina is Water/Fairy. So I think it's obvious that we're going with Litten. But will Litten approve of us? Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. I have some delicious tuna for you. Come on, stop giving me the stink eye... Aaaand he likes me! He really likes me! I don't know what you're so surprised about, Lillie, I've always been good with animals. KITTY Who's a cute kitty? Who's a good kitty? Yes you are, yes you are! You're a wooga-boo! A woogie-woolie-boo! A wooga-wooga-wubba-lub-flub-mubababa woo! Now that's the best idea. I can always give Farooq here the baby talk later. Oh, did I mention his name is Farooq? 'Cause that's a thing. You'll see why later.
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Post by MegaTuga on Jun 28, 2017 16:21:53 GMT -5
Did you seriously just went all "who's a good boy" on the hellcat? Also the first time I hear the bell it's an actual organ. Creepy. guess the final stage's Luchador-styled belt is also one.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 28, 2017 18:57:56 GMT -5
Look, we covered all the bases. I don't think anyone important is left to introduce here. Now I'm gonna go introduce Farooq to my mom and then settle in for a nice nap, the jetlag's kicking back in-- --FUCK WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED! METAL GEAR PROTOCOLS, FAROOQ! FIND A BOX TO HIDE UNDER No. "No" is a complete answer. Yeah, old man Hala's right. You have no manners. And you've got crumbs all over your shirt. This is Hau. He is a dork who picked the wrong Pokémon at Rival Training Camp. No you haven't. Your shoes are caked in dried sand and you've got crumbs all over your shirt. My guess is you had some pastry snack while lounging on the beach like a bum. But I don't make snap judgements like that. I'm pretty sure I have the type advantage here. Again, proof that he picked the wrong Pokémon. Hala's nice and seasoned enough to referee the match for us. I like the rival music for Hau, it's upbeat and friendly. Rowlet is adorable, with its little bowtie. Farooq, immolate him in purifying flame. Farooq levels up from that match. He gets a bit of extra EXP due to a mechanic I will explain later.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 28, 2017 19:13:09 GMT -5
If you're confused by this metaphor, don't be. It's a Hawaiian turn of phrase for getting goosebumps from excitement. It refers to how a plucked chicken has bumped skin. Hawaiian pidgin is a wonderful language to learn. What makes you think I'm going to be up this way tomorrow? I've got stuff to pick up at the Pokemon Center. See? And this battle apparently causes the weird barter stone we got earlier to sparkle and shine. Hau, you've got a dour look on your face all of a sudden. It's jarring to see you not smile like that. Please stop. Hala takes a look at it and is stunned. Look, it's just a rock, right? ...right? Actually I don't know who I'm trying to reassure here, me or you guys. Yeah. Should we, you know, return that to Koko Puffs? He might be missing it. Sure. Fuck Kanto. Nothing there but old men telling me I can't ride my bike indoors. Stodgy old fart. I've been to Hoenn, I can ride my bike indoors however long I want, Oak, you can't stop me! I'm the wind, you hear me? THE WIND! Hala borrows our stone for a while. Better he keep a hold of it, Farooq might try to teethe on it. He looks like a youngling kitten. Also, this DM is totally fucking railroading us. I don't want to go to the festival! Are you sure you just don't want to explain the significance of the festival to me? This he directs to Lillie and Nebby. Nebby, on cue, escapes the bag. I swear, your Ability must be Unaware, you little cosmic poofter. Don't be mad at him. He's like a dog. You say his name, you catch his attention. I'm sure we can train him to do other tricks to. Sit. Lay Down. Fetch. Stay. Get In The Fucking Bag. Back at home, our mom asks us this important question. KITTY Have you SEEN what he evolves into? You'd want one too. Okay, Game Freak, real question: Why give us the option for dialogue choices when both choices HAVE THE SAME DAMN RESPONSE TO OUR CHOICE Y'know, fuck it, I'm not even mad about that... the festival better be interesting.
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Post by MegaTuga on Jun 29, 2017 3:31:41 GMT -5
just an FYI the chicken skin expression is also used here. I really thought it was worldwide for goosebumps but I guess not. And I'm confused. Is this guy REALLY the rival? They usually go for the starter whose type is effective....
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jun 29, 2017 21:42:20 GMT -5
I'm going to skip the tutorial on catching Pokémon because we all know that old song and dance. So here we are, the evening of the festival, in Iki Town. We're prepared for anything. "Ling, Ping, Ching, and Frank!" Just a little soirée. Not even any alcohol. Where's the punch? Just ignore the flask I have on my hip. It's... uh... water. Hau's here too. Dork. So that's what the festival's about. Okay. I can dig it. Lillie's not big on battling. She's a poor example of a Trainer. Still, she's going to be the emotional support for us. Not that we'll need it. I'm as ready as I'll ever be to hand the dork another lesson in proper type matchups. "Just ignore the clucking. It's his personal time. He has... needs." "He likes long walks on the beach, stuffing his face with pastries, and losing at Pokémon battles. Boy couldn't do an Inverse Match to save his life." "She likes ice cold showers, piping hot coffee, and lukewarm apple cinnamon oatmeal with a dollop of whipped cream on top." "Gundam Battle! Ready, FIGHT--oh, wait, this isn't post-apocalyptic Earth. Sorry. Got carried away for a moment there." This is the smile of someone who's screaming internally. He leads with Pichu. You can find Pichu up in the grass right outside town. I haven't caught one, because they're not the Electric-type I'm going for on my team. Like its big brother Pikachu, Pichu folds like crumpled paper if a slight breeze hits it. Especially if that breeze is three hundred degrees Fahrenheit and leaves second-degree burns on your skull. Hau then elects to get his beating over with and sends out the barn owl. It tanks the first hit, but a consecutive barrage of flaming hairballs later, and Rowlet's down for the count. The problem with you, Hau, is that like me, you stared into the abyss for too long; and when it stared back, you blinked.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jul 2, 2017 10:08:27 GMT -5
Is it me, Tuga, or are you the only one actually reading this? Come on, Mikey, Dashe, hell I'll take anyone. Make me want to entertain you! I know the opening part of the game is an utter slog, but it picks up pace once we get off Melemele!
"BUH-GAWCK!"He's a bit tone deaf, if you ask me. Anyway, Hala has a gift for us. Bling! Well, it's not golden or spangly, but it's still jewelry. This is our Z-Ring. Z-Rings are part of Generation VII's new mechanic, Z-Moves. Z-Moves are limit breaks; they're super-powerful moves that can be used once per battle, and come in eighteen types assigned to the different Z-Crystals, just like the eighteen types of Pokemon. A mission? Okay. I guess I need to be briefed on it. Tell me more. Kukui gives us a brief overview: Looks like the Island challenge is sort of like gyms? That would be nice. I'm tired, and they're not serving enough drinks for me to spike the punch. This party sucks. Mom, at least, has the right idea. Sleep, perchance to dream...
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Post by MegaTuga on Jul 3, 2017 6:02:32 GMT -5
I know right? And out of everyone here, I'm the one who takes the least liking to Pokémon. regardless I'm closely following this because I am curious at how this new generation game holds up. Also Z-moves. I heard about those, but apparently thy function the same as Mega Evolutions then? Oh yeah I've been meaning to ask but I've been forgetting to this whole time. What are you using to capture screenshots?
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Post by Dashe on Jul 3, 2017 10:02:04 GMT -5
I'm reading it, I'm just not really inclined to say too much at the moment. Just sitting around going, "Yeah, I'll let Tuga try and catch up to my post count." You know how these things are. They seem to be going up a little fast for me to be able to keep up with comments anyway.
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Post by Mikéy on Jul 3, 2017 11:29:02 GMT -5
I know right? And out of everyone here, I'm the one who takes the least liking to Pokémon. regardless I'm closely following this because I am curious at how this new generation game holds up. Also Z-moves. I heard about those, but apparently thy function the same as Mega Evolutions then? Oh yeah I've been meaning to ask but I've been forgetting to this whole time. What are you using to capture screenshots? He explains the hardware he uses to take the screenshots in his second post in the thread. I've been watching the thread too, but as Dashe said... I don't feel like there's much for me to say. I still never bought Sun or Moon, so this is my first look at what kind of a story they tell. I can't necessarily say I'm impressed by the story it tells, but I find your commentary to be entertaining and spot-on.
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Fatman X. Jones
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Post by Fatman X. Jones on Jul 4, 2017 9:47:47 GMT -5
Well, I was using NTR CFW to capture the screenshots, but the custom firmware I use, Luma3DS, actually added their own screenshot function in the latest update. Luma3DS is a custom firmware for the 3DS family developed by a person going by the handle AuroraWright, and allows for things like running homebrew and running out-of-region games. I used to have a thread here explaining how to get homebrew and custom firmware on your 3DS; right now, there's an exploit named Boot9Strap that can be used on certain firmware versions to install custom firmware that cannot be removed because it's a hardware-level exploit, and as such, requires a major hardware revision to remove... like the New 2DS XL. (as an aside, the New 2DS XL was discovered to still have the exploit, as well, and most of them already shipped in other countries have a firmware that can be used to install CFW) If you're curious about checking it out, I recommend 3ds.guide for that, as it's the most accurate and easy to follow guide to install homebrew of custom firmware.
The next day, we venture outside and meet Lillie. It seems she's gone for a walk too. Lillie's going to properly introduce us to Professor Kukui's operations here in Alola. Isn't that sweet. She's such a good assistant. I have a gut feeling that's not going to be enough dosh for what we need to do. Mom ships Chicken Hat and Lillie. Lillie finds this awkward just like we should. I like to imagine that our poor little Kantonian trainer can only understand certain people on the island, because she doesn't speak English, and the game's translating for us. It helps explain our perpetual cheerfulness. Doesn't everybody, Lillie? Moms are cool. Anyway, we start on our walk down to the lab, and Lillie lets slip this... As well as a bit of background information about Nebby. Seems Nebby is a very rare Pokemon. Probably a Legendary, even. Well, I've read up on Cosmog beforehand, and it can only use two moves. I'm sure its nothing to worry about. It's a Pinkie Promise. And you can't break a Pinkie Promise. Anyway, down on the beach we run into this... rundown bungalow. Oh god, he's mutating into Reggie Fils-Aime. ...This place is a heap. Does Kukui not make any money from his research? She's renting his loft. So that's where his income comes from. Just how well off is Lillie's family? Have you ever seen some of the moves Pokemon can use? I don't think he'll survive very long against, say, Arceus. Yeah, we really should.
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Post by MegaTuga on Jul 5, 2017 9:14:48 GMT -5
"Yeah, I'll let Tuga try and catch up to my post count." ... You are secretly a Sadistic person, aren't you? Anyway, my bad I didn't notice that Fatman had already said what he was using for screenshots. My bad. And all I own is a 2DS, And I'm not sure what sort of software I could really get for my slim use of the console nowadays... ...Maybe I can finally get that Gunvolt update! Oh wait it requires a second console... oh well. Anyway this... has got to be the most laid-back professor in Pokémon history... I hope he gets at least ONE cool moment.
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