Well, I got through Po Town, and got on such a rush afterwards that I just up and decided to push on through the rest of the game. I ended up beating the Elite Four with my team's levels at around the 77-78 mark and gave Kukui the challenge of his life. Afterwards, I caught Tapu Koko, naming him "UltraChicken"; primarily because there wasn't room to name him "Ultra Mega Chicken".
(arise, chicken, arise)Then after I got through the bittersweet ending and saw Lillie off on her way to Kanto, I picked up the postgame as soon as I could. The first thing I did was go after the rest of the Tapu, starting with Tapu Lele; I named her appropriately, I think. "Hibiscus". It's my favorite flower, and she's associated with flowers. Tapu Bulu was next, and I admit to being a bit petty naming him "Thrifty"... I guess this was the point I decided 'Fatman' the trainer wasn't entirely sincere in catching the Tapu to befriend them, and was just catching them to lock them in the PC forever and keep them from interfering with human development on their sacred lands as revenge for Bulu's petty s**tfit destroying the now-Abandoned Megamart.
I rounded this off by catching Tapu Fini, and then made my way to Aether Paradise--but not before dropping the Tapu off in my PC and grabbing a certain Pokemon I ported via Pokemon Bank from Alpha Sapphire.
So when I got to Aether Paradise, I talked to Gladion, who gave me one of the surviving Type:Null for my very own. Now it's about this point that I should say that the Pokemon I grabbed to meet my new Type:Null was a certain Pokemon from Sinnoh who factored heavily in their creation myths... Yeah, I'm obviously talking about Arceus here. It was a fitting idea at the time. I got the mental image of Arceus and Type:Null looking at each other with silent disdain, like a father who has to tell his paraplegic daughter that her dreams of becoming a world-class figure skater will never come true.
I named the Type:Null very spitefully, I admit. But even as Silvally, he'll always be a "Silver Medal" to the Creator of All.
After this bit of shenanigans, I went to my Box and withdrew my Solgaleo, who is majestic and kingly and appropriately named after its obvious inspiration.
Uh, no. Not that one.
That one.
After convincing Galeon to get in the Pokeball, I went to the Altar of the Sunne and found a rip in time and space. Seems that the Ultra Wormhole was still around, so I did the sensible thing and jumped headway through it like a dimension-hopping madman and ended up in a world so strange and unfamiliar to me. Deranged people there worshipped the moon. There was no reasoning with them.
I headed to Ula'ula Meadow and went to the Lake of the Sunne, Galeon in the lead, and when I got to the altar there I was accosted by some ugly looking skeleton moon bat alien thing. A few seconds later, I apparently became the legal guardian of a new Cosmog, who I decided to make the new Nebby and dragged it back to the proper world. Can that be considered kidnapping? Is anyone willing to argue with me when I can bring out Arceus? I don't think so.
All that was left was to take care of Lusamine's unfinished business: The infestation of Ultra Beasts running rampant across Alola. I met up with the enigmatic man, who turned out to be Looker, my old friend from Sinnoh, Unova, and Kalos. Last time I had run into him was ashore at the Battle Resort in Hoenn after that kerfluffle with Zinnia and Rayquaza.
Oh yes. Zinnia and Rayquaza. That ended amicably.Turns out Looker's had his hands full since then with something called the Ultra Beast Task Force. After confirming to him that I kicked Lusamine's doped-up ass, I ended up joining the Task Force to capture the Ultra Beasts. I also met his chief, my old... well, I wouldn't call her a FRIEND, considering she was a cheaty little showboater in the Battle Frontier... acquaintance Anabel, who was his superior in Interpol, and had a nice sparring match with her to prove my competence.
After squaring things away by catching another Nihilego--which I swear wasn't a different one, I swear to Arceus that was the same bastard jellyfish that fused into Motherbeast Lusamine, Looker doesn't know what he's talking about--I hunted down the rest of the UBs.
First came the Buzzwole, Pecs and Arnold, who communicated through interpretive dance that I have huge guts that they wanted to rip and tear. After introducing them to my Night Train
(choo choo cha boogie, choo choo cha boogie), I went and captured the next Ultra Beasts, a couple of Xurkitree wandering around Lush Jungle like deranged electric Christmas trees. Appropriately, I named them Christmas and Festivus.
Then came Malie Garden, but not before a friendly match with Trial Captain Mina. I have to give her credit, Fairy-types are pretty tough with a proper strategy; it's why I make my Mawile, Vincent, a vital part of my team. In Malie Garden, I got to track down four Kartana. The environment was fitting, so I named them after famous Japanese swords: Kusanagi, Muramasa, Masamune, and Murakumo.
We headed for Poni Island next after a tip from good ol' Nanu, who turned out to be a veteran of Interpol himself, as well as Nanu and Looker's superior once upon a time. Turns out, people who travel through the Ultra Wormhole don't come out entirely unscathed. If you've ever seen the episode of Doctor Who "Army Of Ghosts/Doomsday" you might remember The Tenth Doctor wearing a very snazzy, very trendy pair of 3D anaglyph glasses that revealed that anyone who jumps between dimensions gets saturated with residual background radiation from the Void Between Dimensions, which the episode's villains were absolutely soaking with. Well, the same principle applies here, and it's not entirely a good thing, 'cause Ultra Beasts sniff it out like bloodhounds and go all crazy thinking it's a way home. And Anabel is soaked in it likewise, because she ended up falling through a Wormhole to this world ten years ago.
...wait a second... Could Looker be...
Shit.
After composing myself and deciding the International Police could rot in hell for using both Looker and Anabel as living bait, I decided to settle their score by tracking down and capturing the one Ultra Beast they couldn't: Guzzlord, hiding out in Resolution Cave on Poni Island. Along the way, Dexio stopped me to give me a taste of Mega Evolution, and after beating him in a fair battle that my Incineroar Farooq toughed out, got my own Key Stone. It's just too bad the only Mega Stone I give a damn about
is only being given away as an event prize for an online competition, otherwise I'd be using Vincent's power to the fullest like old times.
Well, I caught Guzzlord, and declared him to be my Shadow, the True Self. ShadowFatman can stay in the box.
...Wait, Looker's seen another Ultra Beast? Around Ten Carat Hill?
Oh.