Seeing as how this topic (as well as this forum section all together) needed some love, I'll give it some. These are a few jokes a MMO friend was telling me from several bored MMO miners in a rock setting... They're all terrible, but I can't keep them out of my head.
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What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels._______________________________
What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree?
A fridge._______________________________
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They both live underground, apart from the eagle._______________________________
What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge?
To be honest, quite a lot._______________________________
What did one Japanese man say to the other?
I have no clue. I don't speak Japanese._______________________________
What would George Washington do if he was alive today?
Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin._______________________________
A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" what would the duck say?
Nothing. Ducks can't talk._______________________________
What is the biggest lie I have ever told?
I have read and agree to the Terms of Service._______________________________
Why did suzie fall off the swing?
Cause she had no arms._______________________________
What do you call a man with no arms or legs who's floating in the water?
Bob. (huge pun intended. You have to think about it. [or you probably don't have to think about it.])_______________________________
What did one lawyer say to the other?
We are both lawyers._______________________________
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"_______________________________
This section has minor racism involved. Nothing too serious is shown... I hope.
How do you kill a blond?
There are many ways, but murder is illegal.
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What did the cab driver ask the black man when he got into the cab?
"Where to, sir?"
(a nonracist racist joke.)
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THE LONG SECTIONSpeaks for itself.
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A man sits down at a bar, and sees a jar of money. He asks the bartender what it is, and the bartender tells him put 20$ in and I will telll you. So the man has a few drinks.. and finally decides to put the money in. Bartender tells him its a competition, to finish 3 tasks, whoever does them all gets the money.
First, drink a straight shot of tequilla without making a face. With much crying and sweating, the man does it. (By this point, he's rather drunk)
Task 2 and 3, the bartender says "I have a pittbull out back with a toothache, you have to pull its tooth; and a 80 year old v*rgin upstairs you have to deflower So he goes out back, and after much screaming and barking, the man comes back in.
"Alright, that's the dog taken care of, now where's the old lady with the tooth ache."
The end.
Some of the jokes got way too racial to be shown, and several people in the mmo were raging as well. I was just too busy laughing to even really care. (an ingame player-mod was laughing as well.)Mod edits are welcome if my sense of judgment seems to be overly fogged, but I only intended for it to be "party cloudy... with a chance of rain".
-Mike-