Fatman's LP Theater Presents: "Black Sun" - An Ultra Sun SLP

[Fatman X. Jones]

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the reboot of my Let's Play Theater. Without further ado:


Look Alive, Sunshine! 109 in the Sky, and the Pigs won't Quit! This is a Screenshop LP of Pokemon Ultra Sun. I'm Fatman X. Jones, the Lv. 44 Ender Shaman, and I'll be taking you on this journey through the Alola Region with me. I'll try and update this regularly, but I can't guarantee anything, as my ADHD means I'm scatterbrained and prone to forgetting things. Like a Slowpoke with the Own Tempo ability. I'm going to be playing this on my original model 3DS, and taking screenshots with Luma3DS' screenshot feature, and adding notes and stuff where applicable.

Would I suggest Ultra Sun over Sun? That's probably a question I'm going to ask myself during this. We'll find out together, won't we?
Now, let's begin.

[Fatman X. Jones]

"Fatman? Are you up yet? It's been three hours since we got here."
"...Fatman?"




"What a lazy layabout. He gets a paid vacation thanks to that scratch-off ticket, and he's content to sleep it away."

"...Ed? Go play scratching post with his face."




(Author's Note: I am not actually this boyishly handsome.)




"Hey, jackass, if you decide to sleep this away, can I have your protagonist spot?"




"I'm up, I'm up. I was having the most horrible dream. There was an Arby's down the road, but they were closed down for fumigation and I never got my French Dip combo!"

"That's nice. You've got an LP to do, horseshit-for-brains."




"There you are. Nice and rested now? Get outside and make friends."

"No."

"I'll make you cake."

"Red Velvet?"

"No guarantees. Go be an Island Challenge Champion already."




"So if you die, can we talk about that 'protagonist' designation again?"




This hat is itchy. I don't like it. We'll be done with it soon enough.




Man, fuck the outdoors.

[Mikéy]

Dang, was the starter attire for regular Sun also a swimsuit? This is an interesting change.

[Fatman X. Jones]

Don't get used to it. As soon as we can buy some decent clothes, we're going to dress right. I cannot do this in swim trunks.

---

This is what we in the tabletop roleplaying game community like to call "railroading", which is usually the sign of a bad GM.



So we'll just walk up the hilly road next to it.


Mom warned us about tall grass. Seems they don't have landscapers here in Alola.



SHIT CHEESE IT IT'S THE FEDS



OH GOD IT'S WORSE THAN THE FEDS



Suddenly three cute housepets show up ready to throw down in the traditional Alola way... SUMO



Meet the starters: Rowlet, Litten, and Popplio. Rowlet is Grass/Flying, Litten is Fire, Popplio is Water.



They're all younglings, and rather friendly too. Alola has that kind of chemical in the air that makes everybody naive doofuses.

Well, we'll disabuse one of them of that notion soon enough.



This is Professor Kukui, the man whose labcoat can barely contain those pecs. Turns out he's keeping a hold of these Pokemon for the Kahuna, who is giving me one as a gift.



I decide to take a closer look at this cat. Hey, Kukui, is he housebroken? Has he had his shots? Is he neutered? My mom won't let me keep him if he's trying to buttfuck Ed every night.



"So, you've decided on the Pokemon Litten?"


"Yeah, sure. Gotta make sure the thread has its cat tax. Can't do this without paying my dues, it's a rule of the Internet."

So yeah, everybody, meet Farooq, our starter.

[Fatman X. Jones]

As we take our first step into the grass, Donald Trump approaches to shill his latest campaign promises to undo everything World Champion Red did in his tenure as World Champion.



Farooq is uninterested in lies and slander from such an obnoxious Cheeto masquerading as a Pokemon.



Farooq dispenses with appropriate candor the requisite response.



A nearby Buneary is roasted too for working with Fox News.



As we battle the local wildlife, a young man approaches from the nearby town, wondering what the ruckus is about.



"Is somebody beating up the alt-right? I can't get enough of that!"



Oh do I have bad news for you, dork



To be fair, it's more like HE picked ME.



You're surprisingly chill about this, Kukui.



Hau chooses the only remaining acceptable option for starter.



Seems he's had his heart set on the comfy bird for some time. I don't blame him, but I need a good Fire-type for my party, and Farooq's the soonest I can catch one.



"I guess you're coming home with me then, clown boy. Just remember, no honking after five-o-clock, and you have to squeeze yourself into your own clown car without my help."



Oh, Hau wants to battle, too. Which should be a cakewalk.

[Fatman X. Jones]

Hau only has the one Pokemon, and is our first trainer battle. He's meant to ease us into the game.



So Rowlet. Rowlet is the Grass-type starter of the three Alola starters. Hau's smart, but stupid; Rowlet will only use Leafage, which should give it a Same-Type Attack Bonus in battle.



Farooq is the Fire-type starter.



A couple of Embers later, and Rowlet is sauteéd like collard greens.



Oh, and Farooq levels up.



Hau, oblivious to the idea of losing, puts on a happy face.



The least you could do when you're in a squash match is continue to play dead, boy.



So that opens up the town nearby.



Welcome to Iki Town, home of the local Alolan sumo team and the nearby Ruins of Conflict.



"Say, Fatman, you should be happy to be standing in a place with such magnificent history!"

"Why?"

"Because I said so, damn it. Also because our local god figure roosts nearby."

"Roosts?"

"He's a chicken."



"Say, Professor! Fatman should go pay his respects to Super Ultra Chicken!"

"That's a great idea! Fatman, go spend an hour worshipping our pagan rooster god. We don't know who you worship back in your world, but here, we do things differently."

"Yeah, with virgin sacrifices!"

"Just don't put on the stone masks in the ruins. Bad things happen."

"God damnit you're a bunch of vampire-worshipping lunatics, aren't you. Fine, I'll go check out your chicken god's ruins. But if I see one zombie, I'm immolating him with an Overdrive, got me?"