Post by Aiyumi on Mar 19, 2015 16:28:52 GMT -5
This is a short story that Dashe and I wrote, about Data's life on the Flutter when Mega Man and Roll were still little children.
Summary: After Mega Man Trigger's shell resets into a small child, his memory storage device is forced to live in a ship with Trigger's new form and a Carbon family. Follow a rather robotic Data as he adjusts to his new life until he becomes the bouncy and cheerful monkey that all of us know!
Mega Man Trigger dashed into the Sector 72 ruin. His presence alerted a half a dozen Reaverbots throughout the icy, purple, rubble-encrusted entry hall, but he used his Buster and quickly took the enemies out with absolutely no problem. His movements were precise and seemed automatic, as though he had been doing that kind of thing every day. With the Reaverbots out of the way, everything was silent. It was only him and two doors, one being the entrance from which he had arrived, and the other one leading deeper inside the ruins. He sat on the ground and took an object from his equipment. It was a small robotic monkey. Trigger hastily pressed a few hidden buttons on the little robot and turned it on.
"Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001, performing activation sequence," The little robot said. "Systems check complete. Activation successful." The robotic monkey opened its eyes and scanned its surroundings. It stopped scanning the environment once it acknowledged its owner's presence. "First Class Purifier Unit Mega Man Trigger, this unit awaits your command."
To anyone else, the robot's chattering would merely sound as unintelligible, high-pitched squeaks. To Trigger, though, it was different. He had created his personal memory storage device in a way that no one but him could have access to its contained data or its speech output.
"I require a full backup of my memory files." Trigger spoke without looking at the monkey. He was more worried about making sure no one was approaching them.
"Command acknowledged." Thankfully, the fact that Trigger wasn't looking directly at the little memory drive didn't seem to make any difference. "A full memory backup is a time intensive operation. Calculating duration estimate. This may take a few moments."
Trigger bit his lip. He was in a hurry. The news that the Master was dead could have reached Elysium already, and he knew for sure that Mother Two would come after him as soon as she heard about it. "Cancel the estimate. Just perform the backup." He said impatiently.
"Estimate calculation interrupted. Ready to initiate the backup process. Awaiting confirmation."
Trigger was at the end of his ropes. At that moment, he deeply regretted implementing so many rules into his memory storage device, especially the ones about requiring confirmation for every action. "Stop chattering and do it, now! I do not have the entire day to spare!" He shouted and his voice echoed through the room.
"Understood. Initiating the backup procedure." The monkey replied and proceeded to perform the requested action.
"Stupid memory storage device..." Trigger muttered to himself in frustration as the backup process started.
After a few gruesome hours of glancing outside to see if anyone had come after him, the backup was finally completed.
"Backup process complete." The robot announced.
"About time..." Trigger grunted. He carelessly grabbed his memory drive, deactivated it, and threw it into his pile of weapons and other things.
Years later...
First Class Purifier Unit Mega Man Trigger hadn't been reactivated for very long, but as time progressed it became more and more evident that his memory storage unit was in way over his head.
He had, of course, expected his reactivation to dump him straight into the middle of an alien world, where he would barely understand its inhabitants' mannerisms, culture, or even their way of speaking. That was only logical, seeing as how things in general had an overwhelming tendency to change over time. Even if he'd been able to stay dormant in Elysium until some Unit had decided to re-activate Mega Man Trigger, he would have likely awoken to a noticeably different Elysium.
No, the wrench in the gears that had completely thrown off everything was the simple fact that Trigger himself, in his current configuration, lacked the capacity to fully communicate with him. The reset caused him to develop from scratch with a Carbon's body, and as luck may have had it, Carbons happened to take a considerable amount of time before they developed any sort of speech patterns. For a while the little robot was worried that Trigger may have lost all means of communication with him during the reset, and that he would only be able to express his thoughts to other Carbons, but as Trigger slowly began to acquire a rudimentary vocabulary, he discovered that he could understand the boy about as well as the old man and the little girl who lived with them could understand him. It came as a profound relief, but being forced into interacting with an individual who had such a limited pool of sentiments to convey was frustrating, to say the least. To occupy the time, he found himself watching moving images of Carbons dancing on a strange musical box inside the ship in which the four of them lived. He even managed to emulate some of their movements after watching it long enough. There wasn't much else to do during the day with his charge in such an uninteresting condition.
On that particular day, he found himself seated on a rug with the children. The old man hadn't activated the soundbox, but by then the monkey-shaped robotic peripheral had already learned to sufficiently perform the routine without checking his backup video feed for accuracy. It was a strangely addictive hobby. He could probably keep dancercising indefinitely, since he didn't have any need to sleep or rest. However, he hoped Trigger would be able to develop enough in the verbal department that he wouldn't necessarily have to. At the present moment, the kids were pointing at random things and trying to identify them.
"TV!" Roll, the little girl, pointed at the television they had in the living room.
"Book!" The little boy who was supposed to have been Trigger pointed at one of the books Gramps had left on the coffee table.
"Fower!" Roll pointed at a vase of flowers.
"No, it's flo... Flllower." Her adopted brother corrected her and emphasized the "l" that she had missed.
"F... F-fo... Flo... Wer... Flo-wer." Roll tried again. This time, she earned a nod from him, which made her smile. "Mega Man!" She grinned while pointing at him.
"Roll." He smiled and pointed back at her.
Roll looked back at the monkey in uncertainty. "Hm... He's...?" She asked, but Mega Man seemed equally clueless.
"I'll ask him." Mega Man decided.
"He can't talk," Roll said.
"He can!" The boy insisted. He moved closer to the small robot and asked, "Your name?"
The monkey-shaped apparatus stopped dancing immediately. The request did not compute until it occurred to him to parse the phrase as a request for his designation, and he responded, "This unit has been designated Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001."
The boy stared blankly for a few seconds. "Uh... Data...?" Was all that he could manage to repeat. Then he looked at the monkey and smiled happily. "Data!" He exclaimed.
"Da-ta...?" Roll echoed. "He said that?"
"Yeah!" Mega Man nodded and grinned.
"Wow! You really know what he's saying!" Roll seemed amazed. "Hee hee hee hee! Data! Data!" She giggled and kept repeating the new word.
"Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001," The robot corrected the children. He hoped the boy would at least understand what he was trying to say. "That is this unit's designation. Are you unable to enunciate the full designation code at this point in your development?"
To the little robot's dismay, the kids ignored him completely and went back to trying to identify objects.
"Pillow!" Roll pointed at a cushion on the couch.
"No. Cushion," Mega Man said.
"Pillow." Roll insisted.
"Pillows stay on the bed." Mega Man argued.
"It's a pillow!" Roll still insisted.
Mega Man didn't know what to say anymore. He had no more arguments. Then he did the first thing that came to his mind. He turned to the robotic monkey beside him. "Data, what's that?" He said while pointing at the object.
The monkey carefully studied the fluffy couch component. "This unit is uncertain." He admitted. "The terms 'pillow' and 'cushion' are not in this unit's registry."
The strange Carbon boy's fixation on this random object unsettled him. If this was supposed to be Mega Man Trigger, the First Class Purifier Unit, The original humans' genetic code was likely going to wind up in a lot of trouble when it finally came time for him to restore the memories he had on file.
"You... Don't know too?" The boy seemed a bit disappointed. "So...?"
"We ask Gramps!" Roll exclaimed as she saw her grandfather entering the living room. She hurried to the couch and retrieved the object. "Gramps! This a pillow?"
Barrell Caskett laughed to himself and picked up his newspaper from the coffee table before he sat down on the remaining couch cushion and flipped the paper open. "That's a cushion, Roll," he replied without skipping a beat.
"Told you!" Mega Man smirked at her.
Roll looked downwards, still clutching the cushion in her arms.
Mega Man stood up from the rug he had been sitting on and began talking enthusiastically. "Gramps, did you know that he has a name?" He pointed at the little monkey robot. "He said his name is Data!"
"This unit does not have a name. This unit's serial designation is Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001." The little robot insisted again and scampered up to the little boy. The more the child spoke the less the storage device was sure that this was the unit that built him. The only evidence that they might be one and the same was the fact that he had no technical difficulty with communicating with the boy whatsoever after taking the child’s developmental age into consideration.
The boy acknowledged the robot at last. "It's what we have to say when we want to call you. So, it's your name." He insisted, then turned to Gramps again. "Yeah, he says it's Data... Something very very long and weird and it's so hard to say that we can't even call him! So, it's Data!"
Gramps chuckled. "You kids sure have active imaginations. Data sounds like a very nice name."
He couldn't understand a word Gramps had said, but the monkey started dancing again as he contemplated this turn of events, and the old man took it as a confirmation. On an earlier evening over dinner, he was able to glean from listening in on Mega Man's side of the conversation that rolls were both a type of Carbon food and the little girl's name. As long as they weren't calling him by the name of their food, he supposed the shortened form wasn't awful. "Data it is, then," he acquiesced.
The following day, the family went grocery shopping. In the store, the children kept trying to identify objects the whole time. They returned home and Gramps started putting the purchased items into their appropriate places.
Roll grabbed a pack of cookies and jumped excitedly. "Yum! Cookies! Roll likes cookies!"
Gramps frowned. "Aren't you a little old to be speaking in the third person, Roll?" He asked. The children looked up at him like he'd just spoken some kind of ancient language. He took the pack of cookies from his granddaughter and instructed, "You're supposed to say "I like cookies" instead. I don't say things like 'Gramps likes cookies,' I say 'I like cookies.' You won't be getting any cookies unless you can tell me you like them like a grown-up!"
As the kids tried to process that, Gramps secretly hoped to himself that neither of them would be able to follow that simple instruction and he'd be able to keep the whole pack for himself. They were very good cookies. For such a little girl, Roll had excellent taste.
"Hmm?" Roll didn't understand. "But that time your friend was here, you talked to her and you said, ‘Roll likes cookies.’"
"Yes, but that's different," Gramps replied. "If I'm talking about you to someone else, then I'd say 'Roll likes cookies,' yes. If I'm talking to you directly, then I would tell you that 'you like cookies.' I'd also like to take this moment to remind you that you also like grapes, and grapes are better for you than cookies." He added with a grin under his bushy beard. "But if you're talking to somebody about yourself, you would say 'I like cookies.'"
Mega Man joined the conversation. "Um, so when I'm talking about myself, it's ‘I,’ right? When Data talks about himself, he says 'this unit.' It's weird."
Data, who'd been dancing on the kitchen table while the others unloaded and put away the groceries, knocked over a few boxes of macaroni and cheese in shock and exclaimed, "This unit has been utilizing an incorrect linguistic format for this planet!? This u... I is highly perplexed by this turn of events."
"Ah, Data!" Mega Man reached for the little monkey while Gramps scrambled to retrieve the fallen boxes. However, the table was too high for the boy and he eventually gave up. "Data, come here." He called. The monkey complied and jumped to the ground. "What did you say, again? ‘I...’ What?"
Data would have frowned if he could, but as he was, all he could do was repeat the phrase. "I is highly perplexed by this turn of events. It appears as though it perplexes you as well."
The boy seemed confused. "Huh? Hmm, I think something's still weird..." He took a moment to think and asked, "Gramps, is ‘I is’ right?"
Gramps stopped smiling. Why couldn't those kids hurry up and organize their sentences properly? He was fine with raising children on short notice, but a part of him wished he could skip past the part where they asked such easy questions and got to the deeper, more philosophical stuff. "No, it's 'I am,'" he corrected them. "For instance, I am looking forward to eating the whole pack of cookies by myself because it sounds like you children learned to speak from the monkey," he added under his breath, completely unaware that in this case it was the other way around.
"I just wanted to make him say it right..." Mega Man protested.
Gramps looked back at the monkey, which didn't seem to be making any kind of noise he could understand. He decided he might as well play along and replied, "Well, now all three of you know! Right, Data?"
Data couldn't tell what Gramps said at all, but the robot assumed it would be in his best interest to try and respond with something. So he cheerfully exclaimed, "What did he just tell me, Mega Man?" and hoped the old guy would interpret it as a direct conversation.
It seemed to work. Gramps had cracked open a bottle of juice and started making sandwiches. "Now it's a little early in the day for cookies, but I can make you all lunch now and we can have those for a snack later, alright?"
Still, Mega Man was a bit confused. From the sound of things, Data hadn't understood a word Gramps had said. "Huh? You heard it. It's 'I am,' not 'I is.' And now the three of us know!"
"Yeah!" Roll said cheerfully. "I am Roll! And I like cookies!"
"I am currently unable to understand the other lifeforms in this ship." Data admitted. "I believe that I am beginning to grasp the motivation of the dancing man on your screenbox, but it is very basic."
"Life... What? Screenbox?" Mega Man echoed in confusion.
"The flat box in the living room that emanates noise and has little moving people in it," Data tried to explain. "I immensely enjoy the dancing man in the brightly-colored clothes. I am certain that I am beginning to understand the intent behind his actions. He appears to be very happy."
While Data chattered away and tried to describe the aerobics show, Gramps shook his head and handed Roll a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Very good, Roll, but we're going to have lunch before we have any cookies," he insisted. He was about to hand Mega Man his lunch when he overheard Mega Man seem to spew out a series of random words. "What in the world is a screenbox, Mega Man?" Gramps balked.
"...Gramps? I don't know. I asked Data and he tried to explain what it is, but I still don't get it. Data uses too many big words. But he did say something about the man dancing. I think he's talking about the TV!"
"A dancing man on the TV... hmm..." Gramps pondered for a moment before it hit him what his grandson might be referring to. "Ah, you must mean Dance Dance Dance Your Way to Amazing Adonis Abs with Buff Jazzhands! Of all the shows I've left on that television, I'm not surprised he picked that one the way he's always bouncing around all the time! He looks like he’s dancing, too!" He handed Mega Man his sandwich, grabbed a few cups, and poured the kids some juice.
Data suddenly started dancing a little faster. "TV? The apparatus is called a TV? That's such a peculiar name!"
"Yeah, it's the TV!" After taking a sip of his juice, Mega Man began eating his sandwich. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Data, do you like to eat sandwich?"
"Sandwiches, Mega Man," Gramps corrected. He winked at Roll and added, "You wouldn't want Roll and me to eat all of the cookies by ourselves, would you?"
"Ah, sandwiches..." Mega Man repeated, then corrected his question. "Data, do you like sandwiches?"
Data shook his head. "I do not require food to function," he explained. "I am unsure whether or not consumption of these sandwiches might cause a fatal malfunction in my system."
"You don't need food?" Mega Man was incredulous. "But you can eat! Everyone can! If you can't, the person that made you did it wrong!" The boy said with a confident grin on his face as though it were something very obvious. He tore a piece from the bottom part of his sandwich and looked at Data expectantly as he held the food in front of the little robot.
The second Gramps noticed what Mega Man was trying to do, he grabbed the monkey. It was hard to keep a firm grip on Data with all of that dancing, and to complicate the matter, Data didn't particularly fancy being picked up and carried around, either. "I command you to put me down immediately!" Data ineffectively shouted at Gramps. The old man put him on top of the refrigerator in an effort to keep him out of Mega Man's reach, but Data wasn't having any of it.
As soon as the old man's back was turned, Data tried to leap from the fridge to the table in one go. Unfortunately, he fell short, and before Gramps even had a chance to admonish his grandson for trying to shove messy food into his robot's mouth, the little guy crashed straight into the metal plate on his head with a resounding clang that made both kids jump. Data skidded onto the table on his back and picked himself up while Gramps inspected the dent the monkey had made. "I just had that polished, too," he muttered as he ran his hand along the side of his head just to make sure there weren't any more scuffs he'd have to get fixed. He was mostly just glad Data had crashed into the metal side.
Data hopped over to Mega Man again. "Apologies," he explained. "It appears as though your guardian doesn't want me to consume your victuals either. His viewpoint is quite understandable. Your body requires fuel from that bread to continue existing, so it's important that you consume all of it!"
Mega Man lowered his head. He was very sad that Gramps hadn't let him share his sandwich with Data.
Roll got worried. She stood up from where she was and rushed towards Mega Man and Data. In her haste, she bumped into a stool and knocked it to the ground. She winced, but she didn't let that little accident stop her. She came near them and asked, "Is Data okay?"
Mega Man raised his head and looked at the monkey again. "Data... Are you okay?"
"Affirmative!" Data cheerfully exclaimed.
The cheerful sound that came from the monkey made Roll believe that he was fine, but she was still curious. "What did he say?" She asked.
"A... Af-firmative." Mega Man repeated.
"And... What's that?" She asked again.
"I don't know." He admitted. "But it looks like he's okay."
"Affirmative?" Gramps piped up. "My, my, my. Now that is impressive!" He looked from the kids to Data and back again. It was definitely peculiar, the way Mega Man had picked up such an advanced word without any prompting. Perhaps there might have been some truth to his claim that he could understand Data after all. "You should pay attention to what your monkey tells you," he added. If it turned out he was wrong and Mega Man was gleaning these words and ideas from other sources, the children were still too young to embarrass him about it... But if it turned out the monkey really COULD talk to Mega Man, it might be a faster way to improve their vocabularies!
"I'm always paying attention." Mega Man said firmly. "But I don't understand much of what Data says. He uses too many big words."
"Well, then, 'affirmative' is just a fancy way of saying yes," Gramps explained. He ripped a bunch of paper towels off the roll on the counter and handed them to Mega Man, whose hands were smeared with peanut butter and jelly from ripping his sandwich apart. He wasn't sure how the monkey worked and imagined that having to clean him without wrecking him would be no easy task. "Let me know if he says anything you don't understand. I'll tell you what he means, alright?"
"Alright." Mega Man nodded while he cleaned his hands with the paper towels. "He said something else a while ago, and I didn't understand... It was... Hmm." He racked his brain in search of the word. "Ah. Per... ... Per-plexed. I think this was it..."
"Perplexed means confused." Gramps explained. "For instance, I am perplexed with the idea that you were able to learn the word 'perplexed' from that robotic monkey." He laughed more to himself than anything.
"Hmm..." A look of understanding crossed the boy's face. "Then, when Data's talking, I get... Perplexed... A lot."
"Indeed you do!" Gramps exclaimed. "You've learned quite a bit, so I think this calls for a celebration!" He pulled the pack of cookies off of the counter, cracked it open, and handed each of the kids and even Data a cookie. "I suppose crumbs wouldn't be as hard to clean out as peanut butter," he added.
Data eyed the treat with suspicion. Mega Man had only used the word "perplexed" correctly and the old man had rewarded him with this odd brown disc. He watched the two children bite into their snack with glee. Even though he didn't really need to eat to function, curiosity won him over and he took a bite of the cookie as well. "Hm. Nothing adverse has occurred yet, but I fail to understand the reason these discs make you so happy," Data admitted.
"Hahaha!"Mega Man laughed. "It's not a disc. It's called cookie. And we like these because they're sweet and taste good! But... What's 'adverse?'"
"Adverse. Unsatisfactory. Inauspicious. Detrimental." Data spewed forth synonyms.
"Bad," Gramps cut in.
"Ah..." Mega Man nodded to Gramps. "Then I think he said nothing bad happened!" He turned to Data. "See? I told you that you could eat!"
"Perhaps. However, I believe it would be best if I refrained from doing so on a daily basis for the sake of maximizing the amount of nutrients the three of you are able to consume. I also seem to lack the receptors that enable Carbons to experience a sense of enjoyment from cookie consumption as well, so I would prefer it if you and others of your kind were able to consume as many cookies as possible." Data replied.
"Okay!" Mega Man grinned.
"What did he say?" Roll asked.
"What I understood is that he doesn't want to eat much because he wants to leave more cookies for us!"
"Ah, okay!" Roll smiled and turned to Gramps. "Gramps, can we have more?" After a couple of seconds, she added, "Please?"
"Only one more for each of you," Gramps relented. "You're going to have to save some room for your dinner, you know!"
As the months progressed, Data and Mega Man influenced each other's vocabularies to the point where Mega Man could communicate quite efficiently with Data. Data proved to be instrumental in convincing Gramps to give Roll and Mega Man cookies for using large words properly, though more often than not, the children would forget the words they'd just learned within a few hours. To Mega Man's relief, Data was a more efficient learner than he and Roll were turning out to be.
One afternoon, while Mega Man and Roll were trying and failing to figure out how to play a game of chess with their grandfather's chess set, Data stared at the exercise program playing on the TV and suddenly exclaimed, "Work those buns, ladies! And step... Together! And step... Together! That's it! Bye-bye, fat!"
"Huh?" Mega Man stopped what he had been doing and looked confusedly in Data's direction. "Data? What are you doing?"
"I am attempting to discern why this man on the screen is dancing so happily." Data replied. "I thoroughly enjoy dancing and I would like to know his motivation behind it. This program has been an inspiration."
"You've been watching it for all this time and you still don't know what it is?"
Data shook his head. "I was designed so that I can only communicate with you," he explained. "It is highly difficult for me to understand anyone else, but I have a suspicion that the dancing man is also counting. This behavior is completely perplexing."
"Counting?" Mega Man turned his attention to the television and heard the man saying strange things. "Yeah, he counts sometimes. But now he's not counting. And those things you said just now also weren't counting..."
"Perplexing might have been an understatement." Data sighed. "What was I saying this time?"
Mega Man still hadn't understood. "You forgot what you said?"
"It isn't that," Data corrected him. "It's more like I don't actually know the meaning of what I said. Was Roll able to ascertain my recitation as well?"
Mega Man turned to his sister. "Roll, did you understand anything Data said before we began talking?"
Roll shook her head. "No. What did he say?"
"He was imitating the man on TV. He was saying, 'Ladies, step together! Bye-bye, fat!' ... Something like that..."
And Roll started laughing.
Data balked as Mega Man paraphrased for Roll. "That was certainly not what I'd been expecting," he admitted. "Since he'd been shouting numbers earlier, I'd imagined that it was a basic mathematical program!"
"Hahaha! It's an aerobics show!" Mega Man explained. "Everyone's exercising to lose weight!"
"That doesn't make sense," Data countered. "He repeats the numbers 1 through 8 in sequential order and they all add up to 36. They can't all possibly lose 36 pounds at the same time, can they?"
"It's not the pounds. It's the rhythm!" Mega Man countered back.
Well, that was embarrassing. "Then how do they know how many pounds they've lost?" Data asked. "Is the professor going to teach you that the next time you practice mathematics together?"
"They climb onto a... Onto a... A machine that shows the number of pounds they weigh." Mega Man couldn't find the word. "But I don't know what it’s called..." He had to admit. "Come on, let's ask Gramps!" He picked Data up and ran to the kitchen, where his grandfather was preparing lunch. "Gramps! What's the name of that machine people use to find out how much weight they've lost?"
"That's a scale," Gramps explained. He looked up from slicing carrot sticks and added, "Did you need to use ours?"
"Oh, so it's called a scale. Okay." Mega Man nodded in understanding. "I wanted to show it to Data. He's curious about how everyone knows their weight after the aerobics show!"
"I'm glad he likes that show so much," Gramps admitted. "It's a little corny for my tastes, but as long as you're all enjoying yourselves and getting your exercise, I might be able to find some tapes on the next island. Then you can watch it whenever you'd like!"
"Yay!" Mega Man cheered. A few moments later, Gramps brought the scale in and Mega Man gently placed Data onto it.
"See? Data weighs six and a half pounds," Gramps explained. "Buff Jazzhands would most certainly approve!"
"Six and a half is significantly fewer than thirty-six," Data replied with a grin as he hopped off and started dancing again. It was obvious he still didn't fully grasp the nuances of aerobics shows.
Nearly one year later, much had changed, especially the children's and Data's vocabularies. By constantly listening to Mega Man repeating what the others would say, Data was able to translate the other Carbons' syllables into something he could understand. In turn, he learned how to use simpler words that were easier for the children to understand. However, the little monkey's addiction to exercise videos was stronger than ever.
"You're watching this again!" Mega Man couldn't take it anymore. No one else in that house probably could.
"Buff Jazzhands is an inspiration!" Data argued as he boogied right along with the sassy exercise instructor. "I may not be able to lose fifteen pounds in fifteen weeks, but his happiness is contagious! You should try it! It's fun!"
Mega Man disregarded everything Data had said. "I want to watch the Steel Prince! The special episode will begin in a few minutes!"
"The Steel Prince?" Data balked. "But that show isn't as happy as Buff Jazzhands! They don't even dance!"
"But they have cool weapons and fight evil!" Mega Man argued. "When I grow up, I want to be a Digger so I can use a Buster like the Steel Prince, and fight evil, too!"
"Hmm." Data pondered that notion for a while. That job description sounded awfully familiar. "You want to fight evil, then? That's a very dangerous job, you know."
"Yeah, I know!" The boy said, even though the "you know" part wasn't supposed to have been a question. "I want to explore some ruins! But ruins are full of Reaverbots! And Gramps said that many bad people appear wanting to steal treasure from other Diggers, too. So, I need to be prepared!" Mega Man jumped to the middle of the room and made a pose mimicking the Steel Prince.
Data hopped over to the TV and ejected the videocasette. "We're watching the rest of the tape when you're done!" He added emphatically. "I need to make sure the fat people dancing behind Buff Jazzhands make it to the end again!"
Mega Man could have jumped for joy when Data ejected the video tape, but his good mood was promptly ruined when he heard Data saying they would have to watch it again. "Of course they'll make it to the end again! It's the same tape! Every time you play it, the same thing happens! Always... The... Same... Thing!" He snapped.
"But the people are so good at looking like they're just about to give up," Data persisted. "And then their fearless leader swoops in and says exactly the right thing to make them want to keep going! If you want to save the world from Reaverbots, you'll need someone like that to cheer you on when it gets hard. Hunting Irregulars is a very difficult job, Mega Man!"
Mega Man looked away and seemed to ignore the little monkey for a moment, but he couldn't stay angry for very long. The cheerful personality Data had developed during the last few months always managed to lift his spirits. When he looked at the monkey again, a smile was already forming on his face. Then, he asked out of the blue, "Data... If I go explore a ruin, will you come with me?"
Data paused for a second to process that. He hadn't been in any ruins since Gramps had found him over in the key ruin on Nino Island. He thought back to when Trigger first built him. That had happened in a ruin as well. The thought of going back in with a slightly older Mega Man made something hitch in his throat, but he nodded. Something about it felt right. "Okay! I'll do my best to make sure you stay safe down there! I can even perform first aid if you get hurt, but try not to let it come down to that, okay?"
Mega Man couldn't suppress his grin anymore. "Okay! And you can cheer me up if things get hard! Because you always cheer me up... Well, when you aren't talking about the aerobics videos..."
"I cheer you up?" Data balked. He had no idea that his presence had affected anything other than Mega Man's vocabulary. Even then the new words usually only lasted an hour tops before the boy would forget about them again.
"Yeah, you do!" Mega Man nodded, still grinning. "Seeing how happy you are all the time makes me happy, too!"
"You can thank the exercise tapes!" Data cheerfully exclaimed. "If those tapes can make me cheer you up all the time, then we should probably watch that show you like so you know what you're up against!" While he didn't think that Mega Man would really need much help with re-learning his purifier duties, all things considered, he liked the thought of being able to do something useful for him and for these Carbons. "Say, Mega Man," Data suddenly added, "Do you think we're a family? Not just the two of us, but Roll and the professor, too. I heard them talking about it the other day and I think they think I'm part of your family, too. I'm not entirely sure, but it sounded like that's what they meant to say."
"Huh? Of course we're a family. And of course you're part of it!" Mega Man said as though it were obvious and couldn't have been any other way. "Now I'll wake Roll up so she can watch the show with us!" With no more explanation, he turned away and scampered towards Roll's room.
Data held the Buff Jazzhands videocassette in his hands and bopped his head to the silence as he let that sink in. He wondered when exactly he'd become so accustomed to life on the Flutter, but there was little to no doubt in his mind that those campy aerobics workout videos of the 8380s had been absolutely instrumental in his assimilation into their household. He put the tape back in its cardboard sleeve and hopped over to the remote to turn on Mega Man's show. The screen immediately filled up with castles and explosions and robot parts shattering all over the place. With a change of scenery it could have very well passed for a Purifier Unit purging Elysium of unruly Reaverbots.
"Yes, that's him alright," Data mused to himself with a grin. He bounded over to where he'd left the tape and held it as if it were a stuffed animal. That was definitely Trigger in there, deep down. No sane Carbon would ever get quite so enthusiastic about rushing headfirst into that kind of peril. It wouldn't be long before he'd be able to re-upload Trigger's memories, but he'd realized he'd grown to like this boy for who he was. Roll and her grandfather had both grown on him as well, so while sashaying the pounds away hadn't made him lose any weight, it had definitely improved his life for the better. Thanks to Buff Jazzhands, Data finally had a family.
Summary: After Mega Man Trigger's shell resets into a small child, his memory storage device is forced to live in a ship with Trigger's new form and a Carbon family. Follow a rather robotic Data as he adjusts to his new life until he becomes the bouncy and cheerful monkey that all of us know!
Mega Man Trigger dashed into the Sector 72 ruin. His presence alerted a half a dozen Reaverbots throughout the icy, purple, rubble-encrusted entry hall, but he used his Buster and quickly took the enemies out with absolutely no problem. His movements were precise and seemed automatic, as though he had been doing that kind of thing every day. With the Reaverbots out of the way, everything was silent. It was only him and two doors, one being the entrance from which he had arrived, and the other one leading deeper inside the ruins. He sat on the ground and took an object from his equipment. It was a small robotic monkey. Trigger hastily pressed a few hidden buttons on the little robot and turned it on.
"Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001, performing activation sequence," The little robot said. "Systems check complete. Activation successful." The robotic monkey opened its eyes and scanned its surroundings. It stopped scanning the environment once it acknowledged its owner's presence. "First Class Purifier Unit Mega Man Trigger, this unit awaits your command."
To anyone else, the robot's chattering would merely sound as unintelligible, high-pitched squeaks. To Trigger, though, it was different. He had created his personal memory storage device in a way that no one but him could have access to its contained data or its speech output.
"I require a full backup of my memory files." Trigger spoke without looking at the monkey. He was more worried about making sure no one was approaching them.
"Command acknowledged." Thankfully, the fact that Trigger wasn't looking directly at the little memory drive didn't seem to make any difference. "A full memory backup is a time intensive operation. Calculating duration estimate. This may take a few moments."
Trigger bit his lip. He was in a hurry. The news that the Master was dead could have reached Elysium already, and he knew for sure that Mother Two would come after him as soon as she heard about it. "Cancel the estimate. Just perform the backup." He said impatiently.
"Estimate calculation interrupted. Ready to initiate the backup process. Awaiting confirmation."
Trigger was at the end of his ropes. At that moment, he deeply regretted implementing so many rules into his memory storage device, especially the ones about requiring confirmation for every action. "Stop chattering and do it, now! I do not have the entire day to spare!" He shouted and his voice echoed through the room.
"Understood. Initiating the backup procedure." The monkey replied and proceeded to perform the requested action.
"Stupid memory storage device..." Trigger muttered to himself in frustration as the backup process started.
After a few gruesome hours of glancing outside to see if anyone had come after him, the backup was finally completed.
"Backup process complete." The robot announced.
"About time..." Trigger grunted. He carelessly grabbed his memory drive, deactivated it, and threw it into his pile of weapons and other things.
Years later...
First Class Purifier Unit Mega Man Trigger hadn't been reactivated for very long, but as time progressed it became more and more evident that his memory storage unit was in way over his head.
He had, of course, expected his reactivation to dump him straight into the middle of an alien world, where he would barely understand its inhabitants' mannerisms, culture, or even their way of speaking. That was only logical, seeing as how things in general had an overwhelming tendency to change over time. Even if he'd been able to stay dormant in Elysium until some Unit had decided to re-activate Mega Man Trigger, he would have likely awoken to a noticeably different Elysium.
No, the wrench in the gears that had completely thrown off everything was the simple fact that Trigger himself, in his current configuration, lacked the capacity to fully communicate with him. The reset caused him to develop from scratch with a Carbon's body, and as luck may have had it, Carbons happened to take a considerable amount of time before they developed any sort of speech patterns. For a while the little robot was worried that Trigger may have lost all means of communication with him during the reset, and that he would only be able to express his thoughts to other Carbons, but as Trigger slowly began to acquire a rudimentary vocabulary, he discovered that he could understand the boy about as well as the old man and the little girl who lived with them could understand him. It came as a profound relief, but being forced into interacting with an individual who had such a limited pool of sentiments to convey was frustrating, to say the least. To occupy the time, he found himself watching moving images of Carbons dancing on a strange musical box inside the ship in which the four of them lived. He even managed to emulate some of their movements after watching it long enough. There wasn't much else to do during the day with his charge in such an uninteresting condition.
On that particular day, he found himself seated on a rug with the children. The old man hadn't activated the soundbox, but by then the monkey-shaped robotic peripheral had already learned to sufficiently perform the routine without checking his backup video feed for accuracy. It was a strangely addictive hobby. He could probably keep dancercising indefinitely, since he didn't have any need to sleep or rest. However, he hoped Trigger would be able to develop enough in the verbal department that he wouldn't necessarily have to. At the present moment, the kids were pointing at random things and trying to identify them.
"TV!" Roll, the little girl, pointed at the television they had in the living room.
"Book!" The little boy who was supposed to have been Trigger pointed at one of the books Gramps had left on the coffee table.
"Fower!" Roll pointed at a vase of flowers.
"No, it's flo... Flllower." Her adopted brother corrected her and emphasized the "l" that she had missed.
"F... F-fo... Flo... Wer... Flo-wer." Roll tried again. This time, she earned a nod from him, which made her smile. "Mega Man!" She grinned while pointing at him.
"Roll." He smiled and pointed back at her.
Roll looked back at the monkey in uncertainty. "Hm... He's...?" She asked, but Mega Man seemed equally clueless.
"I'll ask him." Mega Man decided.
"He can't talk," Roll said.
"He can!" The boy insisted. He moved closer to the small robot and asked, "Your name?"
The monkey-shaped apparatus stopped dancing immediately. The request did not compute until it occurred to him to parse the phrase as a request for his designation, and he responded, "This unit has been designated Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001."
The boy stared blankly for a few seconds. "Uh... Data...?" Was all that he could manage to repeat. Then he looked at the monkey and smiled happily. "Data!" He exclaimed.
"Da-ta...?" Roll echoed. "He said that?"
"Yeah!" Mega Man nodded and grinned.
"Wow! You really know what he's saying!" Roll seemed amazed. "Hee hee hee hee! Data! Data!" She giggled and kept repeating the new word.
"Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001," The robot corrected the children. He hoped the boy would at least understand what he was trying to say. "That is this unit's designation. Are you unable to enunciate the full designation code at this point in your development?"
To the little robot's dismay, the kids ignored him completely and went back to trying to identify objects.
"Pillow!" Roll pointed at a cushion on the couch.
"No. Cushion," Mega Man said.
"Pillow." Roll insisted.
"Pillows stay on the bed." Mega Man argued.
"It's a pillow!" Roll still insisted.
Mega Man didn't know what to say anymore. He had no more arguments. Then he did the first thing that came to his mind. He turned to the robotic monkey beside him. "Data, what's that?" He said while pointing at the object.
The monkey carefully studied the fluffy couch component. "This unit is uncertain." He admitted. "The terms 'pillow' and 'cushion' are not in this unit's registry."
The strange Carbon boy's fixation on this random object unsettled him. If this was supposed to be Mega Man Trigger, the First Class Purifier Unit, The original humans' genetic code was likely going to wind up in a lot of trouble when it finally came time for him to restore the memories he had on file.
"You... Don't know too?" The boy seemed a bit disappointed. "So...?"
"We ask Gramps!" Roll exclaimed as she saw her grandfather entering the living room. She hurried to the couch and retrieved the object. "Gramps! This a pillow?"
Barrell Caskett laughed to himself and picked up his newspaper from the coffee table before he sat down on the remaining couch cushion and flipped the paper open. "That's a cushion, Roll," he replied without skipping a beat.
"Told you!" Mega Man smirked at her.
Roll looked downwards, still clutching the cushion in her arms.
Mega Man stood up from the rug he had been sitting on and began talking enthusiastically. "Gramps, did you know that he has a name?" He pointed at the little monkey robot. "He said his name is Data!"
"This unit does not have a name. This unit's serial designation is Data Storage Unit Code TRG-001." The little robot insisted again and scampered up to the little boy. The more the child spoke the less the storage device was sure that this was the unit that built him. The only evidence that they might be one and the same was the fact that he had no technical difficulty with communicating with the boy whatsoever after taking the child’s developmental age into consideration.
The boy acknowledged the robot at last. "It's what we have to say when we want to call you. So, it's your name." He insisted, then turned to Gramps again. "Yeah, he says it's Data... Something very very long and weird and it's so hard to say that we can't even call him! So, it's Data!"
Gramps chuckled. "You kids sure have active imaginations. Data sounds like a very nice name."
He couldn't understand a word Gramps had said, but the monkey started dancing again as he contemplated this turn of events, and the old man took it as a confirmation. On an earlier evening over dinner, he was able to glean from listening in on Mega Man's side of the conversation that rolls were both a type of Carbon food and the little girl's name. As long as they weren't calling him by the name of their food, he supposed the shortened form wasn't awful. "Data it is, then," he acquiesced.
The following day, the family went grocery shopping. In the store, the children kept trying to identify objects the whole time. They returned home and Gramps started putting the purchased items into their appropriate places.
Roll grabbed a pack of cookies and jumped excitedly. "Yum! Cookies! Roll likes cookies!"
Gramps frowned. "Aren't you a little old to be speaking in the third person, Roll?" He asked. The children looked up at him like he'd just spoken some kind of ancient language. He took the pack of cookies from his granddaughter and instructed, "You're supposed to say "I like cookies" instead. I don't say things like 'Gramps likes cookies,' I say 'I like cookies.' You won't be getting any cookies unless you can tell me you like them like a grown-up!"
As the kids tried to process that, Gramps secretly hoped to himself that neither of them would be able to follow that simple instruction and he'd be able to keep the whole pack for himself. They were very good cookies. For such a little girl, Roll had excellent taste.
"Hmm?" Roll didn't understand. "But that time your friend was here, you talked to her and you said, ‘Roll likes cookies.’"
"Yes, but that's different," Gramps replied. "If I'm talking about you to someone else, then I'd say 'Roll likes cookies,' yes. If I'm talking to you directly, then I would tell you that 'you like cookies.' I'd also like to take this moment to remind you that you also like grapes, and grapes are better for you than cookies." He added with a grin under his bushy beard. "But if you're talking to somebody about yourself, you would say 'I like cookies.'"
Mega Man joined the conversation. "Um, so when I'm talking about myself, it's ‘I,’ right? When Data talks about himself, he says 'this unit.' It's weird."
Data, who'd been dancing on the kitchen table while the others unloaded and put away the groceries, knocked over a few boxes of macaroni and cheese in shock and exclaimed, "This unit has been utilizing an incorrect linguistic format for this planet!? This u... I is highly perplexed by this turn of events."
"Ah, Data!" Mega Man reached for the little monkey while Gramps scrambled to retrieve the fallen boxes. However, the table was too high for the boy and he eventually gave up. "Data, come here." He called. The monkey complied and jumped to the ground. "What did you say, again? ‘I...’ What?"
Data would have frowned if he could, but as he was, all he could do was repeat the phrase. "I is highly perplexed by this turn of events. It appears as though it perplexes you as well."
The boy seemed confused. "Huh? Hmm, I think something's still weird..." He took a moment to think and asked, "Gramps, is ‘I is’ right?"
Gramps stopped smiling. Why couldn't those kids hurry up and organize their sentences properly? He was fine with raising children on short notice, but a part of him wished he could skip past the part where they asked such easy questions and got to the deeper, more philosophical stuff. "No, it's 'I am,'" he corrected them. "For instance, I am looking forward to eating the whole pack of cookies by myself because it sounds like you children learned to speak from the monkey," he added under his breath, completely unaware that in this case it was the other way around.
"I just wanted to make him say it right..." Mega Man protested.
Gramps looked back at the monkey, which didn't seem to be making any kind of noise he could understand. He decided he might as well play along and replied, "Well, now all three of you know! Right, Data?"
Data couldn't tell what Gramps said at all, but the robot assumed it would be in his best interest to try and respond with something. So he cheerfully exclaimed, "What did he just tell me, Mega Man?" and hoped the old guy would interpret it as a direct conversation.
It seemed to work. Gramps had cracked open a bottle of juice and started making sandwiches. "Now it's a little early in the day for cookies, but I can make you all lunch now and we can have those for a snack later, alright?"
Still, Mega Man was a bit confused. From the sound of things, Data hadn't understood a word Gramps had said. "Huh? You heard it. It's 'I am,' not 'I is.' And now the three of us know!"
"Yeah!" Roll said cheerfully. "I am Roll! And I like cookies!"
"I am currently unable to understand the other lifeforms in this ship." Data admitted. "I believe that I am beginning to grasp the motivation of the dancing man on your screenbox, but it is very basic."
"Life... What? Screenbox?" Mega Man echoed in confusion.
"The flat box in the living room that emanates noise and has little moving people in it," Data tried to explain. "I immensely enjoy the dancing man in the brightly-colored clothes. I am certain that I am beginning to understand the intent behind his actions. He appears to be very happy."
While Data chattered away and tried to describe the aerobics show, Gramps shook his head and handed Roll a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Very good, Roll, but we're going to have lunch before we have any cookies," he insisted. He was about to hand Mega Man his lunch when he overheard Mega Man seem to spew out a series of random words. "What in the world is a screenbox, Mega Man?" Gramps balked.
"...Gramps? I don't know. I asked Data and he tried to explain what it is, but I still don't get it. Data uses too many big words. But he did say something about the man dancing. I think he's talking about the TV!"
"A dancing man on the TV... hmm..." Gramps pondered for a moment before it hit him what his grandson might be referring to. "Ah, you must mean Dance Dance Dance Your Way to Amazing Adonis Abs with Buff Jazzhands! Of all the shows I've left on that television, I'm not surprised he picked that one the way he's always bouncing around all the time! He looks like he’s dancing, too!" He handed Mega Man his sandwich, grabbed a few cups, and poured the kids some juice.
Data suddenly started dancing a little faster. "TV? The apparatus is called a TV? That's such a peculiar name!"
"Yeah, it's the TV!" After taking a sip of his juice, Mega Man began eating his sandwich. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Data, do you like to eat sandwich?"
"Sandwiches, Mega Man," Gramps corrected. He winked at Roll and added, "You wouldn't want Roll and me to eat all of the cookies by ourselves, would you?"
"Ah, sandwiches..." Mega Man repeated, then corrected his question. "Data, do you like sandwiches?"
Data shook his head. "I do not require food to function," he explained. "I am unsure whether or not consumption of these sandwiches might cause a fatal malfunction in my system."
"You don't need food?" Mega Man was incredulous. "But you can eat! Everyone can! If you can't, the person that made you did it wrong!" The boy said with a confident grin on his face as though it were something very obvious. He tore a piece from the bottom part of his sandwich and looked at Data expectantly as he held the food in front of the little robot.
The second Gramps noticed what Mega Man was trying to do, he grabbed the monkey. It was hard to keep a firm grip on Data with all of that dancing, and to complicate the matter, Data didn't particularly fancy being picked up and carried around, either. "I command you to put me down immediately!" Data ineffectively shouted at Gramps. The old man put him on top of the refrigerator in an effort to keep him out of Mega Man's reach, but Data wasn't having any of it.
As soon as the old man's back was turned, Data tried to leap from the fridge to the table in one go. Unfortunately, he fell short, and before Gramps even had a chance to admonish his grandson for trying to shove messy food into his robot's mouth, the little guy crashed straight into the metal plate on his head with a resounding clang that made both kids jump. Data skidded onto the table on his back and picked himself up while Gramps inspected the dent the monkey had made. "I just had that polished, too," he muttered as he ran his hand along the side of his head just to make sure there weren't any more scuffs he'd have to get fixed. He was mostly just glad Data had crashed into the metal side.
Data hopped over to Mega Man again. "Apologies," he explained. "It appears as though your guardian doesn't want me to consume your victuals either. His viewpoint is quite understandable. Your body requires fuel from that bread to continue existing, so it's important that you consume all of it!"
Mega Man lowered his head. He was very sad that Gramps hadn't let him share his sandwich with Data.
Roll got worried. She stood up from where she was and rushed towards Mega Man and Data. In her haste, she bumped into a stool and knocked it to the ground. She winced, but she didn't let that little accident stop her. She came near them and asked, "Is Data okay?"
Mega Man raised his head and looked at the monkey again. "Data... Are you okay?"
"Affirmative!" Data cheerfully exclaimed.
The cheerful sound that came from the monkey made Roll believe that he was fine, but she was still curious. "What did he say?" She asked.
"A... Af-firmative." Mega Man repeated.
"And... What's that?" She asked again.
"I don't know." He admitted. "But it looks like he's okay."
"Affirmative?" Gramps piped up. "My, my, my. Now that is impressive!" He looked from the kids to Data and back again. It was definitely peculiar, the way Mega Man had picked up such an advanced word without any prompting. Perhaps there might have been some truth to his claim that he could understand Data after all. "You should pay attention to what your monkey tells you," he added. If it turned out he was wrong and Mega Man was gleaning these words and ideas from other sources, the children were still too young to embarrass him about it... But if it turned out the monkey really COULD talk to Mega Man, it might be a faster way to improve their vocabularies!
"I'm always paying attention." Mega Man said firmly. "But I don't understand much of what Data says. He uses too many big words."
"Well, then, 'affirmative' is just a fancy way of saying yes," Gramps explained. He ripped a bunch of paper towels off the roll on the counter and handed them to Mega Man, whose hands were smeared with peanut butter and jelly from ripping his sandwich apart. He wasn't sure how the monkey worked and imagined that having to clean him without wrecking him would be no easy task. "Let me know if he says anything you don't understand. I'll tell you what he means, alright?"
"Alright." Mega Man nodded while he cleaned his hands with the paper towels. "He said something else a while ago, and I didn't understand... It was... Hmm." He racked his brain in search of the word. "Ah. Per... ... Per-plexed. I think this was it..."
"Perplexed means confused." Gramps explained. "For instance, I am perplexed with the idea that you were able to learn the word 'perplexed' from that robotic monkey." He laughed more to himself than anything.
"Hmm..." A look of understanding crossed the boy's face. "Then, when Data's talking, I get... Perplexed... A lot."
"Indeed you do!" Gramps exclaimed. "You've learned quite a bit, so I think this calls for a celebration!" He pulled the pack of cookies off of the counter, cracked it open, and handed each of the kids and even Data a cookie. "I suppose crumbs wouldn't be as hard to clean out as peanut butter," he added.
Data eyed the treat with suspicion. Mega Man had only used the word "perplexed" correctly and the old man had rewarded him with this odd brown disc. He watched the two children bite into their snack with glee. Even though he didn't really need to eat to function, curiosity won him over and he took a bite of the cookie as well. "Hm. Nothing adverse has occurred yet, but I fail to understand the reason these discs make you so happy," Data admitted.
"Hahaha!"Mega Man laughed. "It's not a disc. It's called cookie. And we like these because they're sweet and taste good! But... What's 'adverse?'"
"Adverse. Unsatisfactory. Inauspicious. Detrimental." Data spewed forth synonyms.
"Bad," Gramps cut in.
"Ah..." Mega Man nodded to Gramps. "Then I think he said nothing bad happened!" He turned to Data. "See? I told you that you could eat!"
"Perhaps. However, I believe it would be best if I refrained from doing so on a daily basis for the sake of maximizing the amount of nutrients the three of you are able to consume. I also seem to lack the receptors that enable Carbons to experience a sense of enjoyment from cookie consumption as well, so I would prefer it if you and others of your kind were able to consume as many cookies as possible." Data replied.
"Okay!" Mega Man grinned.
"What did he say?" Roll asked.
"What I understood is that he doesn't want to eat much because he wants to leave more cookies for us!"
"Ah, okay!" Roll smiled and turned to Gramps. "Gramps, can we have more?" After a couple of seconds, she added, "Please?"
"Only one more for each of you," Gramps relented. "You're going to have to save some room for your dinner, you know!"
As the months progressed, Data and Mega Man influenced each other's vocabularies to the point where Mega Man could communicate quite efficiently with Data. Data proved to be instrumental in convincing Gramps to give Roll and Mega Man cookies for using large words properly, though more often than not, the children would forget the words they'd just learned within a few hours. To Mega Man's relief, Data was a more efficient learner than he and Roll were turning out to be.
One afternoon, while Mega Man and Roll were trying and failing to figure out how to play a game of chess with their grandfather's chess set, Data stared at the exercise program playing on the TV and suddenly exclaimed, "Work those buns, ladies! And step... Together! And step... Together! That's it! Bye-bye, fat!"
"Huh?" Mega Man stopped what he had been doing and looked confusedly in Data's direction. "Data? What are you doing?"
"I am attempting to discern why this man on the screen is dancing so happily." Data replied. "I thoroughly enjoy dancing and I would like to know his motivation behind it. This program has been an inspiration."
"You've been watching it for all this time and you still don't know what it is?"
Data shook his head. "I was designed so that I can only communicate with you," he explained. "It is highly difficult for me to understand anyone else, but I have a suspicion that the dancing man is also counting. This behavior is completely perplexing."
"Counting?" Mega Man turned his attention to the television and heard the man saying strange things. "Yeah, he counts sometimes. But now he's not counting. And those things you said just now also weren't counting..."
"Perplexing might have been an understatement." Data sighed. "What was I saying this time?"
Mega Man still hadn't understood. "You forgot what you said?"
"It isn't that," Data corrected him. "It's more like I don't actually know the meaning of what I said. Was Roll able to ascertain my recitation as well?"
Mega Man turned to his sister. "Roll, did you understand anything Data said before we began talking?"
Roll shook her head. "No. What did he say?"
"He was imitating the man on TV. He was saying, 'Ladies, step together! Bye-bye, fat!' ... Something like that..."
And Roll started laughing.
Data balked as Mega Man paraphrased for Roll. "That was certainly not what I'd been expecting," he admitted. "Since he'd been shouting numbers earlier, I'd imagined that it was a basic mathematical program!"
"Hahaha! It's an aerobics show!" Mega Man explained. "Everyone's exercising to lose weight!"
"That doesn't make sense," Data countered. "He repeats the numbers 1 through 8 in sequential order and they all add up to 36. They can't all possibly lose 36 pounds at the same time, can they?"
"It's not the pounds. It's the rhythm!" Mega Man countered back.
Well, that was embarrassing. "Then how do they know how many pounds they've lost?" Data asked. "Is the professor going to teach you that the next time you practice mathematics together?"
"They climb onto a... Onto a... A machine that shows the number of pounds they weigh." Mega Man couldn't find the word. "But I don't know what it’s called..." He had to admit. "Come on, let's ask Gramps!" He picked Data up and ran to the kitchen, where his grandfather was preparing lunch. "Gramps! What's the name of that machine people use to find out how much weight they've lost?"
"That's a scale," Gramps explained. He looked up from slicing carrot sticks and added, "Did you need to use ours?"
"Oh, so it's called a scale. Okay." Mega Man nodded in understanding. "I wanted to show it to Data. He's curious about how everyone knows their weight after the aerobics show!"
"I'm glad he likes that show so much," Gramps admitted. "It's a little corny for my tastes, but as long as you're all enjoying yourselves and getting your exercise, I might be able to find some tapes on the next island. Then you can watch it whenever you'd like!"
"Yay!" Mega Man cheered. A few moments later, Gramps brought the scale in and Mega Man gently placed Data onto it.
"See? Data weighs six and a half pounds," Gramps explained. "Buff Jazzhands would most certainly approve!"
"Six and a half is significantly fewer than thirty-six," Data replied with a grin as he hopped off and started dancing again. It was obvious he still didn't fully grasp the nuances of aerobics shows.
Nearly one year later, much had changed, especially the children's and Data's vocabularies. By constantly listening to Mega Man repeating what the others would say, Data was able to translate the other Carbons' syllables into something he could understand. In turn, he learned how to use simpler words that were easier for the children to understand. However, the little monkey's addiction to exercise videos was stronger than ever.
"You're watching this again!" Mega Man couldn't take it anymore. No one else in that house probably could.
"Buff Jazzhands is an inspiration!" Data argued as he boogied right along with the sassy exercise instructor. "I may not be able to lose fifteen pounds in fifteen weeks, but his happiness is contagious! You should try it! It's fun!"
Mega Man disregarded everything Data had said. "I want to watch the Steel Prince! The special episode will begin in a few minutes!"
"The Steel Prince?" Data balked. "But that show isn't as happy as Buff Jazzhands! They don't even dance!"
"But they have cool weapons and fight evil!" Mega Man argued. "When I grow up, I want to be a Digger so I can use a Buster like the Steel Prince, and fight evil, too!"
"Hmm." Data pondered that notion for a while. That job description sounded awfully familiar. "You want to fight evil, then? That's a very dangerous job, you know."
"Yeah, I know!" The boy said, even though the "you know" part wasn't supposed to have been a question. "I want to explore some ruins! But ruins are full of Reaverbots! And Gramps said that many bad people appear wanting to steal treasure from other Diggers, too. So, I need to be prepared!" Mega Man jumped to the middle of the room and made a pose mimicking the Steel Prince.
Data hopped over to the TV and ejected the videocasette. "We're watching the rest of the tape when you're done!" He added emphatically. "I need to make sure the fat people dancing behind Buff Jazzhands make it to the end again!"
Mega Man could have jumped for joy when Data ejected the video tape, but his good mood was promptly ruined when he heard Data saying they would have to watch it again. "Of course they'll make it to the end again! It's the same tape! Every time you play it, the same thing happens! Always... The... Same... Thing!" He snapped.
"But the people are so good at looking like they're just about to give up," Data persisted. "And then their fearless leader swoops in and says exactly the right thing to make them want to keep going! If you want to save the world from Reaverbots, you'll need someone like that to cheer you on when it gets hard. Hunting Irregulars is a very difficult job, Mega Man!"
Mega Man looked away and seemed to ignore the little monkey for a moment, but he couldn't stay angry for very long. The cheerful personality Data had developed during the last few months always managed to lift his spirits. When he looked at the monkey again, a smile was already forming on his face. Then, he asked out of the blue, "Data... If I go explore a ruin, will you come with me?"
Data paused for a second to process that. He hadn't been in any ruins since Gramps had found him over in the key ruin on Nino Island. He thought back to when Trigger first built him. That had happened in a ruin as well. The thought of going back in with a slightly older Mega Man made something hitch in his throat, but he nodded. Something about it felt right. "Okay! I'll do my best to make sure you stay safe down there! I can even perform first aid if you get hurt, but try not to let it come down to that, okay?"
Mega Man couldn't suppress his grin anymore. "Okay! And you can cheer me up if things get hard! Because you always cheer me up... Well, when you aren't talking about the aerobics videos..."
"I cheer you up?" Data balked. He had no idea that his presence had affected anything other than Mega Man's vocabulary. Even then the new words usually only lasted an hour tops before the boy would forget about them again.
"Yeah, you do!" Mega Man nodded, still grinning. "Seeing how happy you are all the time makes me happy, too!"
"You can thank the exercise tapes!" Data cheerfully exclaimed. "If those tapes can make me cheer you up all the time, then we should probably watch that show you like so you know what you're up against!" While he didn't think that Mega Man would really need much help with re-learning his purifier duties, all things considered, he liked the thought of being able to do something useful for him and for these Carbons. "Say, Mega Man," Data suddenly added, "Do you think we're a family? Not just the two of us, but Roll and the professor, too. I heard them talking about it the other day and I think they think I'm part of your family, too. I'm not entirely sure, but it sounded like that's what they meant to say."
"Huh? Of course we're a family. And of course you're part of it!" Mega Man said as though it were obvious and couldn't have been any other way. "Now I'll wake Roll up so she can watch the show with us!" With no more explanation, he turned away and scampered towards Roll's room.
Data held the Buff Jazzhands videocassette in his hands and bopped his head to the silence as he let that sink in. He wondered when exactly he'd become so accustomed to life on the Flutter, but there was little to no doubt in his mind that those campy aerobics workout videos of the 8380s had been absolutely instrumental in his assimilation into their household. He put the tape back in its cardboard sleeve and hopped over to the remote to turn on Mega Man's show. The screen immediately filled up with castles and explosions and robot parts shattering all over the place. With a change of scenery it could have very well passed for a Purifier Unit purging Elysium of unruly Reaverbots.
"Yes, that's him alright," Data mused to himself with a grin. He bounded over to where he'd left the tape and held it as if it were a stuffed animal. That was definitely Trigger in there, deep down. No sane Carbon would ever get quite so enthusiastic about rushing headfirst into that kind of peril. It wouldn't be long before he'd be able to re-upload Trigger's memories, but he'd realized he'd grown to like this boy for who he was. Roll and her grandfather had both grown on him as well, so while sashaying the pounds away hadn't made him lose any weight, it had definitely improved his life for the better. Thanks to Buff Jazzhands, Data finally had a family.
