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Post by Mikéy on Dec 25, 2014 0:27:28 GMT -5
I'll be locking this thread around the end of the 31st of December.To anybody that happens to read throughout my Secret Santa submission and finds a mistake, feel free to post about it here so I can fix it. I'm giving out little mentions to anybody who does, and we all know how writing stories can go. We write something down from our heads, and although it sounds good at the time, it can make absolutely no sense when read aloud. I just know that probably happened at least once in my submission, so I'm accepting bug reports until then.  I'm not gonna link to the submission here because I don't wanna look as if I'm prodding for attention, but my webstory will link to this thread from the Timeline page. I'll say it's long enough after submission day, here's a link: sites.google.com/site/servbotsandvolnutt/ |
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Post by Dashe on Dec 25, 2014 2:53:41 GMT -5
Timeline page - "Since that this..." should be "Since this..."
About page - " I was still able to use a few expression codes for the fun of it." -> " I was able to use a few expression codes for the fun of it." Dunno why you've got still there.
1stchoicefriendlya - "you and him start talking" -> "you and he start talking"
servbotc2nda - "the silence is broken by him." -> "he breaks the silence." (Passive voice)
2ndchoiceexecuteplan - "as if he was a soccer ball" -> "as if he were a soccer ball" (subjunctive mood)
That's all I've found in my current round of playthroughs, but I haven't reached every page yet. Nice job!
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Post by Mikéy on Dec 25, 2014 10:11:23 GMT -5
Also changed "You feel like" to "you feel as if" on the morale description for executeplan. I wish I went with something that felt a bit more consistent regarding link names, but dang. Not really much I can do about that now. |
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Post by Chiz on Dec 26, 2014 22:39:17 GMT -5
1stchoiceaskwhyc -> 2nd paragraph makes almost no sense. Why is Servbot C downplaying Rock's weaknesses? Why does Servbot C need to be supported by Servbot C to calm down?
wNpO5Wy.png -> Needs a rhinoplasty, stat!
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Post by Mikéy on Dec 26, 2014 23:15:40 GMT -5
1stchoiceaskwhyc -> 2nd paragraph makes almost no sense. Why is Servbot C downplaying Rock's weaknesses? Why does Servbot C need to be supported by Servbot C to calm down? That's because Servbot C blew a fuse and thus became irrational. You could say he became blinded by hate. wNpO5Wy.png -> Needs a rhinoplasty, stat! I'll say. I think the eyes were a bit too short for the mouth. That, or the mouth wasn't tall enough. Pretty funny outcome. |
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Post by Loken on Dec 26, 2014 23:20:34 GMT -5
"Well, sorta. Servbot B expected you this to happen right when you looked at Servbot C" This is in the 'teach C some manners' option.
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Post by Mikéy on Dec 26, 2014 23:35:07 GMT -5
If the "Well, sorta" threw you off, then it's probably because it was playing off of the title of the page. Otherwise, I don't quite see what needs correcting, since you left out half of the second sentence. xD
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Post by Loken on Dec 26, 2014 23:37:39 GMT -5
Sorry, I should have bolded it. 'expected you this to happen right'
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Post by Mikéy on Dec 27, 2014 0:46:33 GMT -5
Wow. I love how my brain pairs words in a way that makes me completely miss nonsense like that. Thanks. |
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