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Post by Dashe on Sept 30, 2011 17:46:41 GMT -5
...Well, I haven't got any Asian beef recipes, in the event you were lurking, but I did just learn how to make the best asparagus in the world. Please note, however, that this recipe is not kosher, not for vegetarians, and has slightly more nutritional value than the Sloppy Chiz. You need: - Fresh asparagus. Not canned, and not frozen. I like the skinnier kind for this better.
- BACON. LOTS AND LOTS OF BACON.
- garlic powder
- pepper
- maybe some salt, if you're low on bacon or trying to dehydrate yourself.
- One skillet
What you do with it- Using the skillet, fry bacon for whatever reason and eat it, but don't wash out the pan you used.
- Sometime before the day is up, reheat the bacon drippings and put the asparagus in it. Season with pepper and garlic powder and cook until it's flexible, but still has some crisp to it.
- That's it. It's ready. Pair it with something reasonably healthy so you don't have a heart attack.
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Post by Handlebar-Orion X. on Oct 17, 2011 6:51:59 GMT -5
I don't realy cook, but my mom sometimes teaches me her recipies as she cooks for when I need to take care of myself. Anyway, here's her recipe for her famous tuna salad.
Materials: A large bowl or Ziplock container. (Or any other brand if you so choose.) A potato masher. A big spoon.
Ingredients: 2 pouches of tuna. 12 hard-boiled eggs. 1 1/2 a jar of khosher dill rellish. 1 1/2 a teaspoon of red pepper flakes. 2 tablespoons of brown or dijon mustard. 1 1/4 teaspoon of salt. 1 teaspoon of black pepper. 1 bottle of zesty italian dressing, or 3 heaping dollops of Miracle Whip. 1 tablespoon of fresh crushed garlic. 1 teaspoon of grated red onion. 1 1/4 tablespoons of parsley.
Instructions: Hard boil a dozen eggs, cool and peel them, add them to a large bowl or container, and mash them.Next, add 2 pouches of tuna. Next, add 1 1/2 of a jar of rellish, 2 tablespoons of brown or dijon mustard, and 1 bottle of zesty italian dressing. (You could also sustitute 3 dollops of Miracle Whip or sandwich spread, but zesty italian just tastes better.) Time for the seasonings. First, add 1 tablespoon of crushed garlic, then 1 teaspoon of grated red onion, a teaspoon of black pepper, 1/2 a teaspoon of salt, 1/2 a teaspoon of red pepper flakes, and lastly 1/4 a tablespoon of parsley. Now sturr and fold this until evenly mixed, cover it, and chill it for a few hours, (2 to 3 is best,) and it's ready to eat. Tastes great on whole wheat bread, spread on Ritz crackers, or a tossed in a salad.
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Post by Chiz on Oct 17, 2011 8:13:09 GMT -5
While this isn't a new recipe, I'm happy to say that I'm finally adding pictures to my Sloppy Chiz recipe...the very thing everyone's been dying to see! Turn away, if you value your arteries!I took these months ago, but finally got a way to transfer the files off the SD card. So there. It's much more delicious than it looks. Trust me.
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Post by Dashe on Oct 20, 2011 22:34:16 GMT -5
I've got an oldie but goodie. This one's from my seventh grade cooking class--the first recipe we got in the first cooking class I took. Yes, they trusted seventh grade boys with a blender. Avoid it if you are diabetic or watching your weight, which as far as I know is none of you until the second I start assuming none of you are diabetic or watching your weight, in which case it'll be whoever's loudest. Brainfreeze in a GlassBy Dashe's Middle School Cooking Teacher You will need: - 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 cup milk
- 2/3 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
- 12 average-sized ice cubes
- One blender
Put all ingredients in the blender. Blend at highest setting until there are no ice chunks left. Do not chop off any fingers. Pour into one gamer-portion glass or cup (approx. 20 oz) and drink slowly to avoid brainfreeze and spilling piles of orange sugar slush on yourself.
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Post by Kyle on Oct 21, 2011 14:20:52 GMT -5
I'm just after trying Brainfreeze in a Glass. Needless to say..... It didn't work out for the best. I ended up with a major surge of brainfreeze, and dropped the glass on my lap, getting the slush all over my pants.... I have failed you, MMLS..... On a more positive note. Thanks for sharing the recipe, Dashe. I'll make sure to try it again sometime.
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Post by Dashe on Oct 21, 2011 16:32:24 GMT -5
Don't worry, those results are typical. Hence the warning included right in the recipe. The only thing you've really failed at is basic reading. Better luck next time.
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Post by Kyle on Oct 21, 2011 16:52:32 GMT -5
Ehhhh. I blame the mass amounts of tea and coffee that I consume daily. It seems that my body isn't that used to cold drinks.
Currently experimenting with a new type of Nutella Coffee. If all goes well and it doesn't induce any type of body spasm, I'll post it.
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MoonScrub
Foo-roo
Now how did I get here again?
Posts: 31
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Post by MoonScrub on Oct 21, 2011 17:04:14 GMT -5
I'd dare not try that Brainfreeze in a Glass. Probably cause a rupture in my brain or something, heh.
I wouldn't mind trying some of these recipes out if I ever got the time, or if I could cook. >:3
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Post by Kyle on Oct 21, 2011 18:47:34 GMT -5
Special Brainfreeze in a Glass Challenge! Drink the damn thing in one go! Don't do it, man! DON'T DO IT. I've ruined a good pair of jeans today underestimating that drink. Don't make the same mistake!
Oh... I thought you drank it normally first and THEN you were gonna chug it all down. My mistake.
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Post by Chiz on Mar 25, 2014 18:11:52 GMT -5
Okay, it's been 2 1/2 years since this thread got any love, but I'm happy to say that I've finally gotten around to demonstrating another lovely recipe that you are all to appreciate. It's fairly common knowledge that poutine is a big deal in Canadian cuisine. Its existence has enriched many lives and clogged many arteries. As such, I feel it is important to demonstrate it and explain how you can make your own facsimiles that properly pay tribute to the dish. As always, this is not recommended for pregnant women or those with heart conditions. Ask your doctor if any of my recipes are right for you. (protip: he'll say no)
Chiz' Bacon Poutine Feeds: 1 of me, probably 6 of you Equipment- Oven
- Large Baking Dish
- Large Bowl (to eat out of)
- Sharp Knife
Ingredients- 750g Frozen french fries, or similar item
- 340ml Beef or Hamburger Steak Gravy
- 400g Cheddar or Mozzarella Cheese Curds
- 500g Bacon
The bag says chips, so I suppose I'm using potato chips to make a poutine, which really puts my life into perspective. Steps- Set the oven to 425*F and start cooking your fries or fries-substitute to around half done.
- While it's cooking, ready your bacon by cutting it into smaller pieces.
- Once the fries are half-way done, layer all the bacon on top. ALL OF IT.
- Turn the oven off, and apply cheese curds to the top of the now cooked fries and set it back into the warm oven for a minute to melt the cheese a bit.
- Remove from oven, dump into large bowl, and pour gravy (in my case, straight from the can) on top.
- Mix and enjoy!
Here's the unnutritional information for interested parties: Calories: 4513.06 Fat: 320.87g --Saturated Fats: 141.30g ---Trans Fats: 4.00g Cholesterol: 750.00mg Sodium: 10922.00mg <-- that's 1 full teaspoon, folks. Potassium: 2385.35mg Carbohydrates: 246.17g --Fibre: 17.65g --Sugars: 0.00g Protein: 160.30g
Vitamin A: 53.33% Vitamin C: 35.29% Calcium: 266.67% Iron: 55.29%
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Post by Kyle on Mar 25, 2014 18:24:58 GMT -5
O-oh. Oh god, I can feel my heart just entering pre-death rigor mortis.
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Post by MegaTuga on Mar 28, 2014 18:53:01 GMT -5
HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED THIS THREAD. TIS IMPOSSIBURU. Well. Summer is still far away but here is a nice option for a light lunch, I prefer this in summer because it tastes better when its cold. Oh, sure everybody must have seen this. But since I am not sure if it is any different, I will write it out just in case. THE Potato Salad
So you will need: Potatoes; Lettuce; Onions; Canned Tuna; Olive oil, Vinegar, salt.
Cook the potatoes in salty boiling water, preferably with the skin. Then, dump the water and peel the potatoes by hand, after that with a fork or any utensil you find appropriate, mash them well and put them in a large plate so the mash can cool.
While you are waiting, wash well the lettuce and remove the leaves. Cut the leaves in slices and put them in a large bowl with a bit of salt. Add onion cut in small cubes (the smallest the better), and tiny portions of olive oil and vinegar. Then the cold potato mash, add more olive oil and vinegar and mix everything well.
You can even personalize this salad with as many vegetables as you feel like: cucumber, tomato, pepper... make sure that whatever you add it is all cut into tiny cubes/slices.
SO easy even a child can do it... probably. Oh I have more recipes than this, but I will leave it at that.
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Post by Kyle on Mar 31, 2014 19:17:42 GMT -5
Yes, I can bake pie. What's your point?!
Ingredients Required:- Several cooking apples, preferable large in size.
- 225-250g of plain, cream flour.
- 125-150g margarine.
- Approx 150ml of water.
- One egg.
- Optional -
Love.
Utensils Required:- Peeling knife.
- Whisk.
- Rolling pin.
- Chopping board.
- Pie/Tart tray.
- Fork.
- Glazing brush.
- Mixing bowl & spoon.
Instructions:
Preheat your oven to 200°C/400°F. Now, first things first, you'll need to prepare your ingredients. Make sure that the margarine has been outside your refrigerator for about fifteen minutes. It'll make a later step much easier to accomplish. Peel the cooking apples and slice 'em up into, well, slices. Next, you'll need to sieve the flour into your bowl. To add the measured block of margarine, you'll need to rub it into the sieved flour with your fingertips until it's completely blended into the mixture. Slowly add the water to the margarine'd flour and mix until you've got a soft dough. If your dough feels too 'wet', add some more flour into the bowl to remedy the situation.
Place the dough onto your chopping board. I'd recommend sprinkling some flour onto the board beforehand, so the dough will have less chance of sticking. Trust me, you don't want that. Knead the dough lightly, then cut it in half. Use your rolling pin on one half to make the surface roughly the size of your pie tray. This'll serve as the base. Arrange your sliced apples onto the base (you can sprinkle some sugar on the apples for a sweeter flavour, if you'd so wish). Roll the second half of dough, and place it over the base, cutting off any edges hanging over the side of your pie tray. Dampen the edges of your pie with cold water as a means of sealing it.
Use your fork to stab various "vent holes" into the top pastry, and then use the back of said fork on the circumference of the pie to create your crust. Finally, take an egg, crack it into any sort of container, and stir things up with your whisk. Once it is suitably mixed, you can dip your brush into the liquid and use it to glaze the pie's surface. Place your now-finished pie into the oven for about 35-40 minutes, let it cool once it's baked, and enjoy your apple-y goodness!
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Post by Chiz on Aug 1, 2014 6:02:43 GMT -5
I've wanted to try, for some time now, the "Bacon Explosion" recipe that's popular on the internet. Sadly ground sausage that isn't Italian sausage is a bit of a premium commodity, I don't have a BBQ or smoker, and I'm just not that fond of BBQ and steak sauces. So, with what limited resources I did have, I tried to make a junior sized version of it.
Chiz' Bacon Larva Seriously, that's what it looks like. Equipment:- Oven
- Medium Baking Dish or oversized Meatloaf Dish
- Parchment Paper (optional; helps reduce mess)
Ingredients:- 250g of Bacon (about 8 slices)
- 500g of Ground Beef
- Seasoning (perhaps those Taco Seasoning or Sloppy Joe powdered mix pacquets might work)
Steps:- Lay out bacon strips beside one another, slightly stretched out to produce a larger rectangle. Avoid gaps between strips, but overlap is largely unnecessary.
- Place the ground beef on top of the bacon and spread it out across the bacon.
- Season the top of the ground beef with your seasonings, ensuring an even spread.
- Roll the entire package together like it was a swiss roll.
- Bake in pan for about 45 minutes at 350*F.
- Remove from pan and slice. It's a fairly solid log, and once removed from the grease, looks appetizing!
Serve in a sandwich with your favourite hamburger condiments. Given the diameter of the log, a slider bun or a dinner roll might be more appropriate than a full hamburger bun. Nutritional MisinformationFor the whole log: Calories: 1886 Total Fat: 180.4g --Saturated Fat: 62.3g --Polyunsaturated Fat: 8.2g --Monounsaturated Fat: 69.6g Cholesterol: 497mg Sodium: 1876mg Potassium: 1516mg Carbohydrates: 1g Protein: 107.3g
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Post by Dashe on Aug 1, 2014 12:21:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I can definitely see the larva there. I think this may be the first recipe you've posted that's clocked in at under 2000 calories, too.
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