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Post by Dashe on Nov 17, 2007 15:35:06 GMT -5
It's more like it's going to be half real events, half parody, and half cheese whiz. That last bit actually went really well with Dragge's original Chapter 3, so I rolled with it.
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Post by Dash on Nov 17, 2007 16:12:05 GMT -5
I like it, Dashe. Keep it up!
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Post by Chiz on Nov 17, 2007 17:06:47 GMT -5
Hmfph...Paragon gets mentioned at the end of part 3, even though the magnificent moi signed up 2 days before him! As for the pronunciation of 'Dashe', I believe it to be be Dah-shh. Were it Day-shh, it'd be spelt 'Daeshe' or 'Daishe', or 'Déshe'. Were it Dah-shi it'd be spelt 'Dashee', 'Dashie', or 'Dashy'. Were it Dah-shay it'd be spelt 'Dashey', 'Dashay', or 'Dashé'. Besides...it's not 'Dashe'...it's 'Dashe-san'. *coughs* Anyways...I'm bound to be in part 4, or perhaps the 'director's cut' of part 3... PS: 'Hydroresistant' could also mean current-resistant, as 'hydro' is more times than not used to denote Hydroelectricity...but then, I'm in Canada It being electricity-based would definitely be a good reason to keep it dry and away from water. PPS: The Epic Escapades of Dashe ( or whatever it's called ) is all and all a well rounded story...though there's not enough action scenes by far. Throw in a few more SFX, explosions, and perhaps a mischievous salamander, and you'll have yourself a tale worthy of that 'epic' label everyone keeps toting.
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Post by Blues on Nov 17, 2007 17:08:04 GMT -5
Huh, I didn't know your fic is three parts...that's pretty unusual for most things (except movies).
I thought that was the farce-y part...
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Post by Dragge on Nov 17, 2007 22:55:42 GMT -5
I applaud you Dashe. Nobody else could probably write a parody like this. Keep up the good work!
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Post by whatrocksido on Nov 19, 2007 19:39:10 GMT -5
Oooo, foreshadowing..... And although I didn't know Blyka on the forums personally, lots of reading over my brother's shoulder helped me to learn that he is fab's brother who didn't talk much. HA! Awesome story btw Dashe. I can hardly wait for the next chapter!
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Post by Dashe on Nov 30, 2007 1:40:43 GMT -5
Chapter Four: Is This Caffeinated?
"What exactly do you plan on doing while you're here, Dashe?" JMC47 asked one day.
"I plan to kill you." Dashe replied coldly, and without remorse.
"WHAT?!?!"
"I'm kidding." Dashe replied. She was, incidentally, wearing the D.A.S.H.E. armor, but that was irrelevant. "I was actually thinking of getting something to drink. Do you know where I could find some Cherry Coke around these parts?"
JMC47 pointed to a vending machine several feet away. Dashe thanked him and made a beeline for the apparatus. In her hand she held a bag full of quarters.
She surveyed the buttons. "Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew...what gives?! The only thing in this machine is Mountain Dew! Who orders these machines anyway?!"
Somewhere up in the staff lounge, fab twiddled his thumbs and sighed. "You know, I don't think the soda machines have enough Mountain Dew in them..."
Back down in the square, Dashe, enraged, started relentlessly pummeling the machine with her bare hands. "I WANT MY CHERRY COKE!!!" She screamed. She hurled the bag of quarters at the machine, and they bounced off, landing on the ground with a thud.
The machine gurgled in response, and deposited a can of Cherry Coke in the recess at the bottom.
Dashe stared at the drink in awe. "Is THIS what I can do with this power?" She asked herself, staring at the armor in bewilderment, her eyes drifting back from the can to the armor. She guzzled the can. "Ahhh, I feel so refreshed!" She exclaimed, before throwing the bag of money at the machine again.
She repeated this process nonstop for hours.
"You're evil, soda machine! I have to destroy you now!" She shouted at the machine when it finally stopped dispensing Cherry Coke for free.
The machine just stood there.
"I'm going to kill you! I mean it!" She reiterated.
The machine still said nothing.
"You lie!" Dashe said as if it replied. She went back to bashing it with her puny fists until fab walked up to them.
"Please, stop, the both of you, or somebody is getting banned." He barked.
"Sorry." Dashe muttered, staring at the ground. The soda machine, ever the unapologetic one, said nothing.
"Listen Dashe, if I put a Cherry Coke button on one of the soda machines, will you promise to legitimately pay for soda next time you use them?"
"Of course!" Dashe exclaimed excitedly.
"Follow the rules, and keep our forums clean!" fab exclaimed as he wandered back into the staff lounge. Dashe, victorious, chugged her last Cherry Coke and grinned.
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Post by Dashe on Sept 12, 2008 16:50:02 GMT -5
Man, I got distracted over the past year. Gotta love self-diagnosed ADD! Chapter 5: The First Hiatus (Part 1)As you know, I didn't post for a while shortly after joining MMLS. How, you may ask? Well, this is why. "Dashe." "Professor, what do you want?" "I want you to write me a large load of essays for my own personal enjoyment." The professor, a short brunette woman with enormous dangling earrings and far too much make-up, declared as she nonchalantly leaned back at her desk and flipped through a copy of Oprah Magazine. "I'll see what I can come up with." Dashe replied, not wondering why this horrid woman was picking on her specifically and virtually ignoring everyone else in the lecture hall. She waited for class to end, resolving wholeheartedly to go to the library afterward and do her homework. "So a lot of these papers will be daily responses to critical essays, correct?" Dashe asked her professor. "God, can't you read the syllabus?" The professor replied with a twinge of frustration, popping her gum loudly and obnoxiously. Dashe hung her head in shame and trudged off to the library as the rest of the students, who just didn't seem to matter, left the lecture hall. "Well this is it." Dashe said to herself. "I'm not going to have any free time for a loooong while."
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Post by Musashi on Sept 13, 2008 19:17:06 GMT -5
Heh, it's nice to see that you're reviving this! I noticed when problem, though.
Shouldn't "how" be "why"?
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Post by Dashe on Sept 13, 2008 23:46:28 GMT -5
Yes. Yes it should. But Dragge's chapter started off syntactically awkward as well, so I figured, "Why not?" (Or perhaps that should have been "How not?" ) Besides, how would you notice when problem anyway? *amused* Chapter 6: The First Hiatus (Part 2)"I am the librarian, master controller of all books." Dashe blinked at the elderly woman behind the library desk. "I never would have guessed." She replied as she went to go research some topics for her paper. She glanced down the hall. There was a soda machine, but upon approaching it, it was tragically out of order. "I should have stopped at CVS before I came here," Dashe muttered as she realized she hadn't had any soda in over four hours. Dashe worked on the English paper and some other homework that was less pressing at the time. After that, she put them all away in folders to take to class when she would need to. "Perfect. Now that 99% of my homework is done, I can go online and post on that forum that Silver didn't join." Dashe said. Everyone in the library looked at her as though she were insane. Normally people didn't talk to themselves out loud in libraries. A few days later something unexpected happened. "You know...I don't feel like going on the Internet." Dashe said to Silver. "It's pointless when I have this much homework." "That's impossible. The Internet is really, really great!" Silver said. Dashe resisted the urge to finish the song. "We should go see a movie or something instead. Something less addictive. I'll come back later when school gets less...taxing." "Ugh, it's just as I feared." Silver groaned. "You've got so much homework that you barely ever have time to do anything nerdy! I don't know you anymore!" With the terrible news hanging over them like helium-filled pink elephant-shaped balloon, the two friends parted ways. Dashe just did her homework like a good college chump.
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Post by Musashi on Sept 14, 2008 0:38:13 GMT -5
I notice when problem all the time, so it was actually really easy to notice.
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Post by Dashe on Sept 14, 2008 21:09:54 GMT -5
Chapter 7: Passing English
"Okay everyone, turn in your final exams!" yelled the ditzy, incompetent English professor, clicking her fake-manicured fingernails against her clipboard and staring at the class before her. About five months had passed since the start of the semester. Nobody was doing well in the class.
Dashe, Robert, Jessica, Maureen, and countless other people who will never be mentioned or heard from again passed their papers to the front. The hapless professor, though, with her enhanced aptitude for failing innocent students, knew their papers were going to be total garbage before she even had the chance to read them.
After a few weeks of hearing nothing in regards to their grades, Dashe stormed into the professor's office and shouted, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! GIVE ME MY F SO I CAN RETAKE THE CLASS WITH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING!"
"Do you see that stack of papers over there?" asked the professor, turning a page of Oprah Magazine and popping her gum.
"Yeah, it's Oprah's reading lists. They appear to have been archived on your desk since the early nineties. What about it?" asked Dashe.
The professor laughed nervously. "Er...the other stack of papers."
"Oh." Dashe uttered. Sure enough, there was a second stack of papers next to the reading lists.
"It's my messy, disorganized excuse for gradesheets. Yours is somewhere in the middle behind the copy of my 2003 tax returns."
"So you want me to go fish my grades out of all this junk?" Dashe asked.
"Exactly. I'd do it myself, but I'm lazy and I've only read about a third of this publication."
Dashe snooped through tons of materials she probably should not have had access to in the first place until she found her grades. Fortunately her incompetent professor was exactly as incompetent as she'd claimed. After about several rows of failing grades, Dashe spotted her final grade for the semester circled in sparkly purple ink.
It was a 95. Either that final essay was better than she'd anticipated, or Dashe's professor couldn't count to save her life.
"Really hon, I'm so proud of your performance in my class." The professor prattled on. "I've recommended you for my advanced literature class, where you get to read Oprah's book list all over again. When you come back again to take it I'll be ready!"
Dashe just blinked a few times, stunned. I know what you're all thinking. She decided to sit through this woman's class for another semester and happiliy live out the rest of her life writing papers, hardly sparing Mega Man Legends or Mega Man Legends Station a passing thought, right?
Not quite. Listen to my next chapter and find out.
*READ MY CRACKISH MEMOIR OR SUFFER DIRE CONSEQUENCES*
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Post by Buster Cannon on Sept 14, 2008 21:27:41 GMT -5
Wow, this interesting and funny at the same time. Nice job! *Eagerly waits for the next chapter*
I cracked up when I read that!
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Post by Dragge on Sept 14, 2008 21:29:22 GMT -5
I'm still laughing at how you're using identical features from my story in yours! Keep up the work and I can't wait unti lthe next chapter!
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Post by Dashe on Sept 14, 2008 22:52:52 GMT -5
Chapter 8: The Return to Mega Man Legends Station
It was sometime in the early summer of 2005. Dashe walked the two feet to her computer, turned it on, and typed in the url for the Mega Man Legends Station forums.
She typed in her username and password. BAM!!!!
Then all went blue.
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